1. Chapter 1 (1/1)

crack!fic, because i wrote it when i was bored the other day and i'm bored again now so i'm posting this ridiculous little thing.

disclaimer: not mine. to the cast's relief, no doubt.

"vlad, have you got my- what on earth are you wearing?" ingrid couldn't keep the smirk out of her voice as she regarded her

other's appearance.

vlad was wearing a tight pink silk shirt with the skinniest jeans known to man, pink converse and a sparkly silver cloak in a flamboyant cut. the shirt had ruffles, for goodness' sake. he looked as if he'd spent about three hours carefully styling his hair into artful disarray. the effect was... striking, to say the least.

"ingrid, tell me the truth. how do i look?" she raised an eye

ow at him."they're going to change your title to grand high campire." to her surprise, he grinned at that."perfect. thanks, ingrid. and yeah, sorry, your hairdryer's in my room, on the sofa. thanks for the loan." before she could yell at him for stealing it, he'd disappeared into the depths of the school.

he stood in the training room for a few minutes before bertrand appeared in the doorway."i wasn't in the blood cell- what are..." the tutor cut himself off, taking a moment to observe vlad's outfit before settling on something a little more respectful. "have you done something with your hair?""spent hours on it. what do you think?""it's... what's all this in aid of?" vlad shrugged."i thought you might need a slightly more obvious hint." bertrand didn't look enlightened in the slightest. "come on. ingrid called me the grand high campire." the older vampire's face twitched at that, and vlad thought he might be struggling to suppress a smile."and that's supposed to hint at...?"

"oh, i give up." before bertrand could react, vlad's arms were around his neck and his lips were pressed firmly against his for a long moment before he pulled back, looking apologetic."you spent hours on your hair and squeezed yourself into those jeans just to make sure i knew you were gay?" vlad nodded."that alright?" bertrand pretended to think about it."i might need more convincing." and he kissed him back.