7. Chapter 7 (1/2)
everyone was focussed on the healer except jd, who was trying to contain the tears threatening to overflow from his stinging eyes. prickling all over from red hot shame, he kept his eyes on the floor as the full impact of his actions hit him. not only had he maligned the name of a good man, he'd violated the privacy of a man he called his friend and spread falsehoods about him, causing others to become upset and cast blame on his friend. sniffing, jd decided he needed to be somewhere else as he felt unable to face the other men and ran for the door, pushing chris out of his way.
"leave 'im be, bucklin. kid needs some time ta sort his self out," growled vin, unhappy with jd's actions and the hurt they'd caused ezra. being truthful with himself, he also blamed jd for his own momentary lapse of faith in his
other.
"aw vin, ya know the boy didn't mean any harm," demurred buck, casting big eyes towards the cranky sharpshooter, appealing on behalf of the youngest. "he's just young. he'll learn."
"buck, jd's only a coupla years younger'n me n' ez. ain't got nuthin' ta do with age and everythin' ta do with respect. he knew damn well that he didn't have the right ta read ez's telegram and he sure as hell didn't have the right ta go spoutin' off 'bout it," refuted vin adamantly. "as fer learnin', how's he supposed ta learn anythin' when ya always hovering over him like a momma bear and her cub?"
"now c'mon vin, i ain't that bad. 'sides, it's not like you don't have your own momma bears. seems to me that jd's got me and you've got ez and chris. you've always been fair to jd when he's made mistakes in the past. ya ain't gonna stay mad at the kid, are ya? you know he about idolizes you," defended buck, ending with a wheedling plea.
"ez and chris don't hover over me! i don't need watching over. i's out on ma own since i's a button and had ta learn the hard way, with no-one there ta hold ma hand or stop me from making a fool o' maself. one o' tha most important lessons i learned is that a man's business is his own. time jd learned it too," snarled vin, angry at the affable man for pointing out his close relationship to the older men. he was frightened of highlighting it, in case it disappeared when chris or ezra decided he was too needy or too much of burden and pushed him away. "as fer the kid looking up ter me.. he shouldn't. i's jist a man like any other. put ma pants on one leg atta time. he can do better'n me iffun he's looking fer a hero."
the others had stood back, watching the two of them argue but ezra and chris weren't about to let vin start down that self-deprecating path.
"vin, you are a good man with a kind heart and jd is right to use you as an example of how a man should be. uh uh, i know you're not perfect but not one of us can claim to be perfect. it's about acknowledging your failings and how you try to overcome the ones you can and work around those you can't," counselled ezra, walking over to stand beside the quietly seething texan. putting his hand on one tense shoulder, he gave it a gentle squeeze and said quietly, "it's alright, vin. chris and i like that you look on us as older
others. nothing anyone says or does will make us turn our backs on you. you're stuck with us, i'm afraid. isn't that correct, chris?"
chris walked over and gripped vin's free shoulder, waiting until vin looked up with apprehensive blue eyes before staring directly at him and stating, "ez is right. you're a tanner! you're michael and carys tanner's son and as such you got nothing to be ashamed of! me and ez are damn proud to call you
other. got it? or am i gonna have to cut a switch to take to your scrawny ass?"
huffing out a laugh, vin swallowed hard and nodded his acceptance. feelings too big to be put into words welled up in him and he reached out a hand to lock forearms with chris instead. leaning back against the southerner, he fought to regain his composure.
"see, vin. you've got ez and chris, like jd's got me. now i'm gonna go lookin' for the boy and hope i can talk some sense into that hard head of his," announced buck, striding to the door with suspiciously moist eyes.
after a final squeeze, ezra released vin's shoulder and made his way over to where nathan remained sitting on the floor with his knees held to his chest and his back to the wall. gracefully sinking down to sit cross-legged beside the healer, ezra hesitantly cleared his throat and placed a slender hand on the bowed back.
rolling his head to the side, without lifting it off his arms, nathan gazed at ezra with reddened watering eyes. blinking, he asked softly, almost afraid of the answer, "really, ez? your doctor friend will take me as an apprentice? i can be a real doctor? with a diploma?"
starting to rub slow circles over the rough spun shirt, knowing the scars it hid, ezra smiled gently and nodded.
"he know i'm black?"
quelling the laugh that wanted to surface, ezra nodded solemnly and replied, "nathan, archie's an englishman and has worked with many people of many colours and both genders over the years. since being in america, he's worked with indian medicine men, he's worked with chinese herbalists, he's worked with negroes… hell, he's worked with an uppity southern dandy with more attitude than sense. before he landed on these shores, he'd worked in india, england, europe and africa. he even met florence nightingale during the crimean war and was most impressed with her work and her efforts on behalf of the injured. he was a much younger man then and just starting out in medicine."
pausing to gather his thoughts back from some of the stories of his travels and the wars that archie would relate to him, late in the quiet night when ezra had thought that he'd go mad from the pain of his head wound. the comfort he'd gotten from having that kindly, interesting old man sit by his bedside had been astonishing and one of the major reasons that he'd recovered. looking around to see that chris was sitting in the visitor's chair and vin was once again sitting beside josiah on the bed, he gave them a small grin before continuing.
"black, white, yellow,
own, red, man or woman… archie doesn't care what colour or gender folk are, all he sees is their medical skills, compassion, and kindness. he sees the insides of people, both metaphorically and literally. as he says, we all bleed red. i've told him all about you and what you've done here in my letters and he's very eager to meet you – all of my friends - and take you on as an apprentice. he has consumption and whilst he's still in the early stages, he won't be here for a long time. the drier climate here will help slow the disease and he's very keen to use what time is left to him to pass on his knowledge."