12. Grifs Fairy Tales (1/2)

i do not own rvb or rwby

it took a while, but sarge, ruby, and donut finally reached the ledge that simmons described. when they arrived, ruby and donut were the first to spot simmons lying on the ground.

"oh my god, simmons!" ruby yelled. she then rushed to help simmons.

"sarge, we found simmons," donut called to sarge as he stood behind ruby, who was helping simmons up to his feet. "he's over here, sleeping on the job."

"donut, i wasn't sleeping," simmons groaned, still groggy. "i was drugged."

"sorry, sarge, he's not sleeping," donut corrected as sarge stood beside them. "he's doing drugs."

"shut up, donut," simons said. he was able to stand by himself, so ruby let him go. "i'm not doing drugs, we were attacked. oh they must have used some kind of tranquilizer on me and... yang? grif? hey, where are they?"

"you were the only one here," ruby said.

"maybe they're out scoring you junkies more drugs," donut said.

"they must've taken them both," simmons assumed.

"now, i can understand yang being taken, but who would wanna take grif? garbage collectors?" sarge asked.

"no sarge, the people who knocked them out," ruby corrected. "now, how are we going to find them?"

"that won't be a problem," simmons assured her. "luckily, i implanted a tracking chip in grif's armor. i wanted to be able to find him when it was time to work. i should be able to lock on to his signal in just a few seconds."

"a few seconds? that sounds entirely hopeless," sarge said, "well grif, we'll miss ya. you were a good soldier. using the

oadest possible definition of 'good'... and 'soldier.' and yang, even though we didn't know you that well, your violent nature reminds me of a younger version of myself, if i was a girl."

"i've got grif's signal," simmons said.

"they're probably a million miles away by now," sarge mused.

"actually, they're only a tenth of a mile away," simmons said.

"but who knows what direction!?" sarge said.

"that direction," simmons pointed to another cave path across them.

"exactly," sarge said, apparently not hearing, or ignoring, what simmons said. "we did our best simmons, now let's head back to base. where's my shotgun?"

"there's no shotgun around sarge," ruby said.

"i think they took it when they took grif," simmons guessed.

sarge groaned as he heard simmons' words. "what direction did you say?"

"that way, sir," simmons pointed again.

"come on, let's go," sarge said unenthusiastically.

the four of them headed down the path.

after yang left with grif and simmons, blake had asked weiss to keep an eye on the blues that were trying deal with their crazy a.i. problem. so far, she was just observing their work, but if she saw the slightest chance that things were going bad, she would stop them. currently, she stood watch as tex had begun the process of transferring sheila's programming from the tank to the ship.

"she's all set," tex said. she had just finished connecting the tank into the ship, the transfer beginning. "transfer should take a while."

"um, are we sure we wanna put her in the ship," church said, voicing his concern.

"surprisingly, i have to agree with church," weiss said. "this seems dangerous."

"it's still flyable, but i'm gonna remove the ignition coil just to be sure," tex said. "if o'malley is in her somewhere, they aren't going anywhere without it."

"you want me to hold it?" church offered.

"are you kidding?" tex said, snarkily.

"well, it was worth a try," church said.

"i still think it's a dangerous idea to do," weiss said. "what if they take control of the weapons in this ship?"

"they won't," tex assured her.

"but-" weiss said.

"listen princess," tex said. "i've been doing this kind of shit way longer than you. i think i'd listen to my own expert advice than some pompous kid who thinks they know everything."

weiss face turned a red with rage. "excuse me!? 'pompous'! i'll show you who's-"

church quickly held weiss back before she could get close to tex. "weiss don't, it's not worth it. and tex, stop being a bitch. or at least not when we have work to do."

"fine, but keep her away from this," tex said. she then got on her radio. "hey caboose, how's it going in there?"

"looks good," caboose said from inside the ship. "although i have to tell you the ship looks a lot bigger on the inside than the outside."

"how's the readout?" tex asked.

"well, all the red lights are red, and all the blue lights are blue," caboose reported.

"what about the green lights?" tex asked.

"those are black," caboose replied.

"when the green lights turn green, and the red lights turn black, i want you to get a hold of me right away," tex stated.

"okay," caboose responded. "uh, what about the blue lights?"

"the blue lights don't matter," tex said.

"then why do they-"

"okay, thanks caboose. good job" tex said quickly, not wanting to have to answer any more of caboose's questions.

"oh okay," caboose said. he then ended his call.

sarge, simmons, donut, and ruby continued to roam down the path, trying to spot grif and yang.

"come on," simmons said. "grif should be right over here."

"don't listen to him, guys," donut shouted. "he's just trying to score more drugs to keep his habit alive! sarge, remember last month when he asked for more money? it was for drugs!"

"that was part of a budgetary meeting donut," sarge reminded him. "he needed more funds for vehicle maintenance."

"enabler!" donut continued.

"less talking, more moving!" ruby shouted at them both. she wanted to find yang as soon as possible, and didn't have the current focus to keep the reds from arguing with each other. "wait, i think i see something."

the four of them stopped walking and saw grif and yang across them. they were both on the ground, unconscious, but as ruby saw yang's

eathing, knew that they were alive.

"ah! there's my shotgun!" sarge said. he then walked over, passing both grif and yang and picked up his weapon, cocking it as he did. "mission accomplished, excellent work men!"

"and also we found grif and yang," simmons said.

"oh, right," sarge said, his happy nature dropping. "good that we found yang though. and grif. excellent- somethinsomethin, peopl- why do i even bother."

"yang!" ruby ran to her sister and shook her. "please be okay!"

"five more minutes," yang grumbled.

ruby sighed in relief. yang was alright. still looking tired, but alright.

"what happened?" grif moaned. "what'd you do to me?"

"we got knocked the fuck out, and the people who did it must have taken you guys," simmons said.

"oh yeah," yang groaned, getting up on her feet. "i think i remember that happening."

"me too," grif said, standing up as well. "they kept asking us questions. they wanted information."

"information," ruby said.

"what did they-" sarge began, but simmons interrupted.

"whoa whoa whoa wait a second, they wanted information and they took you?" simmons said, incredulous. "why wouldn't they take me?"

"what did they look like?" ruby asked.

"did they say what they wanted?" sarge asked.

"sarge, ruby, please! this is important!" simmons said. "i was right there next to you guys. if they they needed information, why would they take you two instead of me? i mean yang doesn't even know anything useful."

"hey!" yang shouted.

"what're you, jealous? grif asked. "jesus!"

"no," simmons said. "no, i just think if you're gonna drug and torture people, you don't need to insult their intelligence too. that's just mean."

"...yeah, you're jealous," grif concluded.

"that's just sad," yang said.

ruby nodded in agreement.

"besides, takin' all the fun outta interrogating," sarge said.

ruby then saw yang almost fall down again. she quickly went to her side and kept her on her feet. "are you sure you're okay?"

"hey, i've had worse things happen to me," yang smirked slightly. "i can handle getting knocked out."

grif was no better, groaning as he still suffered the effects of getting drugged.

"shake it off you big orange baby," sarge said. "what happened to you two?"

"they've been chasing the dragon," donut ranted.

"donut, shut up," simmons said. "they were drugged like me."

"that's what i'm saying!" donut continued. "they fell off the wagon and shook hands with the devil!"

"donut, seriously, enough," ruby said.

"they've been riding the wave, and trippin' the technicolor dreamscape," donut, not stopping. "far out, man. druggie losers."

"who's the weird guy in pink?" yang asked.

"that's donut, another red," ruby said.

"and it's light-red," donut corrected. "see, the drugs they took clearly affected their perception of color."

"will you stop, donut," simmons said, having enough of donut ranting. "all you're doing with your stupid anti-drug lingo, is making me actually want to try drugs."

"choose life simmons," donut said. "choose it."

"yeah, that sounds like fun," simmons said sarcastically.

"guys, let's just focus and ask them what happened," ruby said. she turned to yang. "so... what did happen?"

"yeah, who knocked you out?" sarge asked. "was it those dirty blues?"

"church and the others aren't even down here," ruby pointed out.

"i'm not talking about them, i'm talking the other dirty blues that could be under this place attacking my men," sarge clarified.

"no, it was some kind of bat-person," grif said.

"bat-person!?" both sarge and ruby said in disbelief.

"you're not remembering right," yang said to grif. "it wasn't a bat-person, it was king taijitu with arms and legs!"

"a what?" sarge said.

"one of the types of grimm in our dimension," ruby explained. "a giant two-headed snake, but minus the arms and legs. what is yang talking about?"

"i'm not sure grif and yang know what they're talking about," simmons said.

"grif doesn't know what he's talkin' about? stop the fuckin' presses," sarge said sarcastically.

"no. i mean specifically right now," simmons clarified. "whatever chemical they used to knock us out may be affecting their perception or their memory."

"and it could cause undue stress to their families, and seriously impair their ability to operate a-"

"shut up donut!" both simmons and yang yelled.

"i wasn't hallucinating," grif insisted. "there was some kinda crazy bat thing, and another guy, and they were talkin' about a kid. and a sword."

"that, i remember," yang said. "they were talking about some deal they made."

"hokay, wait, is this a joke?" donut asked. "this is a prank on me, right? you guys found my harry potter fan fiction."

"this has nothing to do with you donut," grif said.

"riiight, sure," donut said, unconvinced. "well if the bat person turns out to be a sailor, and the guy turns out to be a bartender, and the sword turns out- well, let's just say this all sounds a little too familiar."

"okay, i don't know what you're talking about, and i don't think i want to, but that definitely doesn't have anything to do with this," yang said.

"we're telling the truth!" grif insisted. "this really happened."

"sure, we believe you buddy," sarge said. he then made a note out loud, as if grif wasn't standing right next to him. "note to simmons, grif and yang have gone mad. need to get yang professional help and kill grif asap."