1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

it was when victor was a little over four that the world started disappearing around him. before then, a soulmate had been something that he was vaguely aware existed, but hadn't really cared to properly think about. his mother had gently told him that whatever his soulmate loved would be invisible to him, and whatever he loved would be invisible to his soulmate.

"you mean they'll never see the ice?" victor had asked mournfully, disbelieving that anybody could even live without seeing ice. it was his whole world.

his mother had replied that his soulmate would only be able to see the ice when they first touched. that the world would seem so much clearer.

and then a few years later, the ice disappeared for victor as well. that was the time that he was entering his first competitions, so he took the blow hard. he was angry at his soulmate for a while, but gradually learned that it wasn't his soulmate's fault. after all, he'd done the same thing to them. he gained respect for his soulmate for still being able to love something that he couldn't see.

when victor was eight, makkachin disappeared. victor was sad at no longer being able to see him, but at the same time excited that he and his soulmate had so many shared interests. that one day, when he met his soulmate, he'd be able to have a dog with them, and skate with them, and colour with them. he'd confided all of this in yakov, who had just muttered 'bah!' before walking away. yakov had never been a romantic.

when victor was twelve, he won his first junior grand prix finals. he'd been ecstatic that day. he'd smiled warmly at the ice he could not see, and mentally thanked his soulmate for giving him the confidence to get this far. he'd hoisted his gold medal in the air, and cried with joy.

when victor was fourteen, he'd had a particularly tough day. yakov had yelled at him a lot at practice (for no reason, might he add), and made him stay behind for extra ballet training. victor had dragged himself home, wanting nothing more than to flop down on his bed and sleep for a good eleven hours. when he finally reached his room, he reached up and tugged his hair out of its

aid, sleepily reached for a comb, and turned towards his mirror to see….

nothing.

he was invisible.

victor screamed.

when victor was sixteen, he gold medalled in his first ever grand prix final. he'd smiled at his invisible reflection in the cameras while kissing his gold medal, while hoping his soulmate was watching, could see him, was surprised by him. that's when his habit of wanting to shock his audience began. all while thinking, can you see me now, soulmate?

through the years however, victor began to develop a more… indecisive relationship with the ice. there were only so many surprises he could pull before it was expected, before he began to lose himself in the process of striving to be the best. by the time he was twenty, victor stared silently at the invisible ice while he skated, numb inside. at least my soulmate can see one of the things he loves, now.

however, when victor was twenty two, he met yuuri katsuki, who

ought hope back into his life, as well as making the world clearer to him. that night of the banquet, when victor had just been another face in a room full of people, looking at his non-existent reflection in a glass of champagne, smiling sadly.

that's when the glass of champagne a

uptly disappeared, and victor had to blindly place the invisible champagne flute down on a table. it seemed like his soulmate was enjoying himself far more than victor, wherever he was. except 'wherever he was' wasn't actually that far, and it turned out that a drunken stranger really could make all the difference to your life.

later, while sitting at the side of the cele