1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

when the doctor confirmed what hannah already knew, she immediately thought of the man her unborn child would become and smiled. and seven months later, after an agonizing sixteen hours of labor, she stared into her son's eyes for the first time and knew she'd die to protect him, no questions asked. "hello, james. it's nice to meet you - again. mama loves you." the baby let out a cry, and hannah placed a finger on his tiny cheek. "it was a rough entrance into this world, wasn't it? if i have my way, you won't have to get used to it." a tear rolled down her cheek and landed on the blanket. "i'm sorry your daddy isn't here but i had to protect him, baby, just like i'm trying to protect you. and don't think i won't give you shit about the hell you put my body through when i see you the grown up you again, james. be prepared," she teased. and then hannah leaned down and kissed his forehead. "oh, my beautiful, sweet boy."

single motherhood was exhausting but hannah never once regretted her decision to have james. she missed matthew with everything she had and wished she could have accepted his proposal but leaving had been the right choice. and then eleven months in, the two of them were hunted down and would have been killed if she hadn't gotten to the bastards first. and it was then that she knew that james needed to be with his father. to protect him, she had to leave him. "mama," babbled the baby as they pulled up to the trailer.

a sob escaped and she tried to rein herself in, to be strong because her son was depending on her. "you're finally going to meet your daddy. are you excited, james?"

"mama," the baby repeated.

hannah sniffled as she unbuckled him from the carseat and then walked up to the trailer. she didn't even have time to pull herself together and knock on the door before it flew open and matthew stood in front of her. "marion?" asked matthew.

she smiled. "hello, matthew. can we come in?"

"of course," he answered, even though his eyes had bugged out upon laying eyes on james, knowing without being told that this was his son. "is this why you left?"

"partially," hannah answered, hoping he wouldn't question her any further.

"and this is my son." matthew just needed it confirmed.

"yes. matthew, meet james william cole. he was born on december 11th, 2009, and he's the most important person in my life. but i can't raise him anymore. it's not safe."

"marion, what's wrong? you can tell me," he urged. she was clearly terrified and he wanted to know why.

she shook her head. "i wish i could but i can't. i'm so fucking sorry, matthew. i never meant for any of this to happen." hannah took a deep

eath, kissed james, whispered that she loved him, and handed him over to matthew. "just know that i love you."

"i love you too. we can work this out. the three of us can be a family. please," he begged.

she shook her head, trying to hold in the sobs and failing. hannah's

eath started to hitch. with their son between them, hannah kissed matthew for the last time. "mama wants you to be good for your daddy, james," she managed to get out.

and then she turned around to flee before she could change her mind, matthew at her heels with james in his arms.