14. Chapter 14 (1/2)

i had to tell her. she deserved to know.

not noticing my sudden silent stupor, bev had continued to talk, as

if she were in a dream. not listening, i interrupted her. "um,

bev?"

"yeah," she said, letting the word drone on in a singsong way.

"um," i stuttered, "there's something you should know about

will."

"wha?" she replied, suddenly removed form her dandy dream. "you

know him? you know will? ohmigosh this is so great!"

before she could say anything more i cut her off. "i…we…my

friend used to go out with him in high school. listen, bev, i don't

want to be the bearer of bad news, or anything, but will…he's had

a bad past. but, maybe he's changed," i added chipperly when her

face began to drop.

"define bad past," she demanded, her voice jumping up a couple

octaves.

"well, i don't know when he got out, but he had been in jail

since i was a junior in high school. but, by the way you described

him, it seems like he really has changed, you know?" again, i was

digging myself a hole. bev's face seemed to get sadder and sadder

with each word i spoke.

"what was he in for?"

dammit, i thought. "rape," i said, my voice almost inaudible.

"oh, god." she finally crumbled, sobbing heavily and burying her

face in her palms.

before i could think about it, i was right beside her, consoling her.

"bev, i didn't mean to upset you. i just thought you should

know…"

"no no no," she replied, "i appreciate you telling me that

because i know he wouldn't have."

sob.

"i mean, he was just so nice and funny and charming, and it turns

out he's a…a…rapist!"

"was a rapist," i told her. "maybe he's trying to

change." i stiffened. was i really defending will cash? why?

"what do you owe him that you're defending him like this?" bev

asked angrily.

"nothing," i said, "absolutely nothing."

i watched silently as owen pulled of his shirt, getting ready to turn

in. i got into a sitting position on the bed, crossing my legs indian

style.

"so," i began, resting my chin in my palm, "will cash is out of

jail."

he looked at me for a second, the most interminable second of my

life, his green eyes completely unreadable. "oh, so you found out."

he tossed the shirt into his closet.

it took me a full fifteen seconds to process those five words. "wait,

i said finally, "you knew?"

"yeah," he grunted, lifting a dumbbell from a drawer. just going

through the motions. couldn't he see that i was in mortal turmoil

here? just sitting there, on the bed, lifting weights, while i was