1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

1

"say it again."

"dan. mmm. dan…"

this is more than a kiss. it's everything he's wanted to say in the past year bundled into the melding of tongues, the entanglement of fingers in hair, and the soft,

eathy noises that expel from their mouths because words just aren't enough.

he doesn't know how they end up on the couch or how he's even still

eathing, really, because this cannot be his life. he's pinned beneath blair's tiny body, his head against the armrest at the strangest angle, but he couldn't care less. her hands are running all over his chest and his hands are on her butt, and they're going to have a problem in a second if she doesn't stop wriggling.

"mmm, dan," she mumbles again, her hips grinding against his. he bites down on her bottom lip and digs his fingers into her back to keep himself together. "dan!" she gasps out, and suddenly they're wearing too many clothes.

"blair…" he fumbles for the zipper on her dress, and she

iefly takes one hand off of his chest to guide it to her zipper before tugging forcibly on his collar and crashing her lips into his again. soon his shirt and her dress have been discarded on the floor, and he is filled with desire, his skin burning against hers.

everything comes to a halt, however, when a loud boom resounds throughout the room and he hears his dad's voice shout out "dan?"

blair squeals, rolling off of him and gathering her coat up off the floor, clutching it to her chest. he whips his head around, glancing towards the door as rufus and lily walk in with suitcases in hand, looking just as astonished as he is.

blair wraps her coat around her hastily, whispers, "i'll call you later" into his ear, kisses his cheek, and runs for the door. she nods at his dad and lily and takes off, leaving her dress and her scent lingering in the air.

"so, son, what was that about?"his dad asks, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

dan burrows his face into the crook of the couch.

2

she doesn't call him until 3 days after lily and rufus walk in on them. he, admittedly, gets a little worried, thinking maybe they took things too far too quickly. but he also knows that she has to be inconspicuous as her divorce still isn't finalized.

when she does call, he answers his phone on the second ring,

eathing out her name.

"i missed you," she announces sweetly. "come over?"

"i'll be there in 20."

when he gets to her penthouse, he is greeted by the unfamiliar face of a middle-aged woman with blonde, curly hair and cocked eye

ows that make her look as if she's permanently confused.

"you mr. humphrey?" she asks, placing her hands on her hips and looking him up and down. "you are less handsome than miss. waldorf tells me. you have bush growing on your head."

"thanks," he says shortly, not particularly in the mood to deal with this woman today. "i'll see myself up to her room."

he opens the door to blair's room and she hurries over to him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him on the lips.

"what a greeting," he says as she pulls away. "much nicer than the one your new housekeeper gave me."

blair wrinkles her nose, clearly expressing her own distaste. "she's only here until dorota's pregnancy leave is over. i call her creeper 2.0, in the form of a swedish housekeeper."

he pretends to shudder, and she giggles, her hands coming to rest on his chest.

"listen, about the other day… dan, i… i sort of want to take things slower than that," she says, and he can do nothing but smile at her, his hands finding her waist. it's like they share the same thoughts sometimes.

"i think that's… good. it was in the heat of the moment. not to say it wasn't amazing, because it was, but i agree. we shouldn't rush into things."

she smiles back at him. "want to watch a movie?"

he nods.

roman holiday is playing in the background as dan makes out with blair on her bed, much more comfortable than he was the other day. she teasingly runs her hand up under his shirt, practically purring against his lips. when her hand finds his belt buckle, however, he recoils, his eyes widening.

"i thought you said you wanted to take things slow?" he asks, but her hands are still working at his pants as she leans in to suck on his neck.

"that was then. this… is now," she murmurs, successfully getting his pants undone and pushed down, starting to work on her skirt and stockings.

he chuckles, not about to protest.

they both get down to their underwear and he whispers in her ear, telling her how beautiful she is. she straddles him, taking his face in her hands and kissing him deeply.

when she pulls away, she's giving him a smile that he's never seen aimed in his direction before. "dan humphrey, you are the most wonder-"

the door to her room bangs open and he yelps, throwing the covers overtop of them.

"miss. waldorf, i am so sorry!" the fill-in housekeeper exclaims, covering her eyes. "i just come here to see if you want dessert!"

"leave, agnes! get out!" blair yells, and the other woman scampers away, closing the door behind her.

blair's head falls onto his shoulder, and she whimpers as if she can hardly believe what just happened.

"twice in one week, humphrey. we should learn how to lock a door."

"we should learn how to take it slow."

they both erupt into laughter.

he spends the night at her house. nothing more happens. except for her falling asleep in his arms.

3

"it's stuck."

"what do you mean 'it's stuck'? use your hands, humphrey. you're good at that. i'm sure you've unzipped plenty of problematic bargain basement dresses. a prabal of such quality should be no problem for you."

they've reached their third attempt to consummate their relationship after one of penelope's parties for god-knows-what. lord knows he wasn't paying attention as blair kept shooting him suggestive looks from across the room. they wind up at the loft afterwards, this time in his room.

"i can't get it, blair." he tugs at the zipper of her expensive dress but it won't go any further than her waist.

she frowns,