1. Chapter 1 (1/1)

those five days

there is something evil in you. i know this now, i knew it when i first saw you. i don't know why i go to school, some days, when i'm really sick and tired, but those days are the one when your eyes make the biggest impression on me. it seems they are getting redder and redder... and not only a tired red.

five days in a row, it was, on the first glimpse of red. you don't see me, sitting so close to you. i see you. i see you, raito... and i pray for you.

heaven will not see your face, it seems, but i can see it for them. today was the sixth day, and the red has left the raito... i will go and talk to you today.

"hello, raito," i say, turning the r into an l with a terrible accent on purpose. you don't notice, but you used to.

"hello, daluko...," you say so teasingly, turning the r into a real l, not just an accent. a teasing? maybe you did notice. my name is matsujo, not dark. i knew my last name would get to you adventually. yamikaito matsujo, that's me, i said when we first met. back when i thought i could get you to talk to me. but i sit down next to you sometimes anyway.

"hi," i repeat. "raito-kun," i tell you so seriously, "what's going on? there's something wrong with you this last week." it's saturday, i add, so i won't be able to see you tomorrow.

you seem to take this as an advantage, my talking to you so blunty. "matsujo-san, do you really believe in kurisuto?" christ?

"of course i do! god has given me so much, it seemed hypocritical to believe otherwise."

you question me with your eyes.

"do you believe in shinigami?"

"shinigami...," i muse to myself. "i think they are like demons, if they are real... i think they are the worst. to god, the people who are most against him aren't those who follow satan, or have cults or other gods. they are the ones who have no gods, no heaven, no creator at all... and shinigami just run around killing when they like as if they were the real gods."

after this conversation you ignored me again. you didn't even tell me what you meant by that question... and i went back to being the school's nerdy christian who tried to make everyone smile cause 'god told me to.' i believe in all that stuff, you know, even if no one else does.