1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

a/n: so this is set after 4x15, if addison had come back a little sooner than she did, and sam was more of an ass than he actually is, at first, kind of, you'll get the gist i'm sure! it's going to be a long-ish fic and i'm sure i'll frustrate you more than once but trust me guys! just trust me!

i wish i could lay down beside youwhen the day is doneand wake up to your face against the morning sunbut like everything i've ever known, you'll disappear one dayso i'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away

addison yawned as she climbed out of her car after the drive back from the airport, she took out the keys to sam's house and walked across to his house, as she entered she slipped off her shoes and coat and walked slowly up the stairs, the door to his bedroom was slightly open and she could see the light of one of the lamps, she froze when she heard a moan that definitely didn't belong to sam, and then one that did, her heart started to pound in her chest but she didn't stop herself from taking the extra steps to push open his bedroom door as slowly as she could, it felt as if her whole world was spinning as her eyes connected with the two people wrapped around each other in the middle of the bed, thrusting against each other.

"i guess i really know how derek felt now huh?" she choked out causing sam and naomi to leap apart, pulling the sheets up to cover themselves "oh god, i think i'm going to be sick" she said with a sob, bursting through to sam's bathroom and leaning over the sink, she retched but nothing came up, with tears blurring her vision she stumbled back out of the bathroom and she moved as quickly as she could down the stairs, ignoring sam's voice as he called out after her, as she reached the front door she scooped up her shoes and coat and struggled to get the door open, sam took his chance to slip in front of her.

"get out of my way" she growled "get the hell out of my way"

"addie just, just listen to me" he stuttered.

"i never, ever want to see you again" she spat "you are nothing to me anymore, you are, you are dead to me sam, you promised me you wouldn't hurt me, you promised me you wouldn't be like them, you promised, you promised" she sobbed, hitting him in the chest.

"i'm so sorry, it just, it just happened, she was just there…"

"no" addison almost screeched, cutting him off "when this happened to me, when derek found me and mark together, i said it was because he was there, i said that to him, and it was true, he was there and derek never was, it had been years since he was there but, but me? i have always been there sam, i have always been there for you, even when, even when we weren't together i tried to be there for you and the one time, the one time i need you" she said tearfully "the one time i need you, truly need you, i find you in bed with, with her, of all the people why did it have to be her?"

"i am so so sorry" he said with a slight whisper "please just don't, don't leave me, please"

"i'm already gone" she whispered back, she shoved him out of the way and stormed over to her own house, as she slammed the door behind her amelia skidded into her view.

"oh" she said clutching her chest a little "it's just you….what's wrong?" she frowned as she noticed the tears streaming down her face.

"did you know she was there?" she asked tearfully "naomi?"

"well, yeah, they're looking after olivia for the weekend"

"oh god" addison choked out "they did it with olivia in the next room?"

"did what addie?" amelia asked worriedly.

"please don't make me say it" she whispered tearfully "i keep seeing it and i can't, i can't say it…"

"oh addison" amelia said rushing forward and pulling her into a tight hug "it's ok, it's ok, i'll make them pay alright? i will make them pay for this"

"please don't" addison sobbed "please don't do anything stupid, i don't, i don't think i can be alone right now, please"

"ok" amelia whispered "it's ok, i'm not going anywhere, what, what do you want to do? i could get you some wine or…."

"no" addison said instantly "no just, just promise me you won't do anything stupid"

"i promise addie" she said softly "why don't you try and get some sleep?"

"i'll try" addison sniffled "i can't believe he did that amelia, i really can't"

"i know" amelia sighed "i'm so sorry"

"i don't know what to do" she said tearfully.

"let's just, sleep on it" amelia said quietly "come on" she took addison's hand and led her up the stairs where they both fell to sleep in addison's bed.

~x~

"addison" amelia said quietly as she shook her arm.

"hmm, what?" addison mumbled tiredly.

"i've gotta go to work" she sighed "i won't stay the whole day, but i have to go in…"

"go" addison yawned "i'll be fine, i swear just, promise me you'll control yourself"

"i promise i'll try" amelia said with a slight laugh.

"i guess that's the best i'm gonna get huh?" addison said with a small smirk.

"do you know what you're gonna do?"

"i, all i know is right now, i don't want to see either of them, other than that i don't know what i'm doing"

"i'll call you later" amelia said squeezing her hand "bye addie"

"bye" addison said with a small smile, as soon as the bedroom door was closed she rolled over and pulled the covers up before falling back to sleep.

~x~

"morning" amelia said as she walked into the conference room and took a seat next to charlotte.

"morning" everyone replied.