37. Arguments (1/1)

ruhlsar000 here! are you pumped for monday?! my

other actually came up with a really interesting idea. what if when the temple was destroyed ezra became the portal? as bendu says knowledge can't be unknown. plus, closing the portal clearly did more to ezra than opening it. and it would be a pretty cool way to further ezra's development while also explaining why ezra is not made known to luke. this knowledge would need to be protected no matter the cost. do i think this is the case? probably not. but i kind of want it too. besides this last week's

"kanan it's seventeen hundred on a friday. no one's going to be-" kanan slams the door behind him as he heads out to terrify some poor secretary and demand to see the principle at aibek's school, despite the principle being long gone. "monday is going to be fun for them." hera's due back sunday night and i can already hear her rant. "guess it's my turn to make dinner." i enter the unusually quiet common area. kemen is meditating out on the back patio. fajr is working on some ancient civilization identification problems dr. jones gave her. i may have recruited a new member of the jedi artifact preservation squad. am i surprised? not at all. aibek is still grounded, so the holoprojector is off, but he seems enraptured by his app.

david is typing away on his keyboard. "hey, bud. i seem to be in charge of dinner tonight. what do you feel like?" david takes a deep

eath before continuing to type. "what are you working on?" david flicks up the keyboard before getting up and walking out of the room. i follow him. "hey!" i grab his shoulder, "what is with you today? you haven't said a word since i got back."

"oh, so you care about that." he says with as much sarcasm as an eleven-year-old can muster and pulls away.

yeah, no. i pull him back to face me. "of course, i care, david. what made you think otherwise?"

"oh, i don't know maybe that fact that as soon as you were out of the hospital you went gallivanting off on not one but two missions. you didn't care about how worried we were. you didn't care that dad practically had an ulcer while you were gone. you didn't care the fajr wasn't sleeping."

"okay, that is false. kanan understood why i needed to go and agreed with me, in spite of his worry. and that whole second trip was because fajr wasn't sleeping." i say.

"and what about me?! you just left without any concern about me!" david shouts. "do you know what it was like?! waking up in the middle of the night to your voice and then feeling our bond weaken? looking at kemen while he pales a moment later? rushing to dad only for him to leave! and then the waiting! the waiting! i thought i'd go mad!" he's crying now. i wrap my arms around him and pick him up. he struggles and he is getting far too big for this, but i don't release him. not until we are in his and kemen's room and i've closed the door behind us.

david glares at me, which hurt, though i have imagined worse glares in my nightmares. "i'm sorry. i put you through that david." i sigh. "but i…" the thing is i do have a choice, it's just not a good one.

"you don't care about me. you've never cared. that's why you abandoned me! you're running away. well news flash, coward, i'm not going to go away!" david accuses, throwing a pillow at me. pain fills my chest and i look down. it feels like something is crushing my heart while trying to rip it apart. "and i'm not some toy for you-" david cuts himself off.

"david, i was a drunk when you were born and i enjoyed hurting stormtroopers. it was stupid… something along the lines of i can make them suffer like the empire's made me. i was constantly low on funds, barely had enough for myself. and i'd drink the remainder. i tried to clean up when i knew you were going to be born. and i succeed a little, but i was still a fricking mess and with don… bottom line, it wasn't safe for you to be with me. i wasn't safe." i take a deep

eath whipping away the tears. "it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do. and i was a mess afterward, sinking further to drink. it was months later that i finally hit a wall and resolved to do whatever it takes to maybe one day be worthy of knowing you." i look at david. he is crying, too, and looking rather ashamed. i pull him into my arms. he doesn't fight me. we sit there for who knows how long. if i could i would never let him out of my arms. "david, when i go out on these missions, you are all i can think about. you're force-sensitive, david, and it can be dangerous to be that. if one bit of lost information can help you, kemen, fajr or aibek then i will do everything i can to get it for you."

"i know, father… i know" david sighs. "i just don't want to lose you again."

"that's not going to happen," i say. "even if i'm dead i will still find a way to be with you."

david cries harder. "i know, i know you gave me up because you had to… i'm sorry…."

"it's okay…" i rub his back. "i love you, david. always."

thank you time! thank you, edvis93, for following. thank you, kiku-goldenflower, for favoriting and reviewing. i hope this was fluffy enough for you. i really know that feeling. caleb means loyal, interesting... kanan most certainly was loyal. i hope ner vod's new chapter was good enough after that wait. thank you, midnight luna and fangirl, for reviewing. i love all the work you have done so far and am excited to see where doubt goes. and thank you for the support. the sad thing is i actually had a relatively easy time with the special ed system because i made friends with the teachers and was openly a hard working goody-two-shoes. this afforded me a lot of slack. i don't blame the teachers. i feel the training for special ed kids isn't always the greatest as a lot of these kids having issues communicating their feelings. that and being a teacher, especially a special ed one, is a high burn out jobs. thank you, booklady, for reviewing. from one "bad kid" to another, hang in there. and if you ever need to vent, i am always free to listen. also, kanan and hera tearing into the admin while ezra grabs the popcorn is a kriffing amazing image. thank you, sonyukigoku'ssister, for reviewing, twice on the same chapter. i am not sure how that happened. it's okay that you haven't reviewed. you're busy and have a life. i get it. i, however, am in college and have no life. i do love ezra's dynamic with the children and i think everyone can agree with wanting an "ezra" in their life. as for grammar, i will say i am doing my best. i proofread at least once, and run each chapter through two separate grammar processors. do i still make mistakes? i can tell you with absolute certainty, yes. can they be embarrassingly stupid? again, yes. by the way, did you proofread your last review? sorry, that just had me laughing while i was reading. if that's you're only critic, than i'm happy. and i will continue to try and improve it.