1. Chapter 1 (1/2)
a/n – another random fic, this one in radu
pov. pg13. several days before the attempted assassination of ion,
radu, desperate for a means out, goes to confession. think worst-case
scenario fic. it's one of those. because we all love torturing poor
radu.
sacrilege
by pikacheeka
i always dreamed of snow. stupid, really, living where i do, but it
was always something i longed to see. real snow. not the ashes
settling over ruins after a city is reduced to nothing. i never told
anyone but ion. ion who looked at me sadly and smiled. ion who said
someday we would go to germanicus and see snow. that was before he
became earl and quickly forgot. now it snows in my mind as i stumble
through the lamp-lit streets so far from home. he will die, i will
kill him, he will die by my hand.
why had they picked me? i'm not the only
methuselah in the order. a silver knife was what they gave me. i
can't. i won't. i quit. i stop in front of a dim tired church
with a door halfway up an alley. everything is tired. and i move
towards it without thinking. what they taught terrans? confess and
you will be saved. what about methuselah? what about me? does god
even see us under all this snow?
you're going crazy, radu.
no. you're trying to do what is right.
i hesitate and close my eyes. will i die? what
happens if we enter sacred ground? if it is sacred. if god even cares
about the terrans. will i…live? do i even care any longer? so i go.
past the threshold into blinding cold, the path of the falling
methuselah. and i touch the holy water out of morbid curiosity and
laugh as nothing happens. such lies they believe.
"methuselah." husks of death, empty shells
of insects across the floor.
confessional. there is a priest inside. it is
right there and i cannot see him, the wall of my sins between us.
"yes." i whisper. "am i not welcome?"
"you are as welcome as the rest. you are only
another child of god here."
why do you sound so dead? but i do not ask. i
only step inside and the door closes behind me. even in the darkness
the snow howls.
"i will not tell a soul what you speak of.
here it is you, me and god."
i say nothing. if he knew. if he knew he would
not say so. "do you swear?"
"swearing is sinful. i understand though, and
yes. even if you have killed."
what do you know, preacher, about killing? "i
see snow." i whisper and lean my head against the wall. it all
hurts.
"snow?" i smile weakly at his confusion.
"sin."
"ah."
"i am about to do something…evil." ion. my
little ion. "or maybe it is good."
"what is it, son?"
son. yes. no. "the world is changing. do you
believe it can hold all of us? human and methuselah?" i clear my
throat and shudder. "is peace possible? or are we only prolonging
the pain, the fear, the tension? i feel as if god has forgotten us.
as if…"
"he ended the world once and won't bother to
again?"
sickness washing over me. i am thirsty, i
realize dully. "how…"
"it is a common question. you are not alone."
i sigh. it is to be expected. he has likely
heard it all. "some people believe he's gone. and he will only
return in the end times. they say we must
ing about the end times
in war. a great war, a final war. then the messiah will come again.
and we will begin anew, in the garden, again…" i
eak off,
choking. i can't
eathe. snow suffocating. why?
"but what do you believe?"
"i…don't know anymore. i was, i am, with
them. but now it isn't so easy anymore."
"with them?" he sounds intrigued.