1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

chapter 1

i have no idea where this came from. i was getting a glass of water and this came to my mind and i just had to write it.i don't own phineas and ferb.

"congratulations major monogram, it's a boy," the nurse said, handing me the small bundle wrapped in a baby blue blanket.

i carefully pulled the blanket from the baby's face. he had chocolate-

own hair and my blue eyes. "look at him carl," i said, leaning so that my husband, lying in the hospital bed next to the chair i was sitting in, could see the small baby.

"he's amazing," carl said, in awe of the small human in my arms.

"what's his name?" the nurse who had handed me the baby asked.

"montgomery. montgomery william monogram," carl said, his eyes never leaving the baby.

"do you want to hold him?" i asked, holding the baby out to carl.

there was terror in carl's eyes. "n-n-n-no! i might drop him!" he said, pulling away from me and montgomery.

"carl, you aren't going to drop him. he's your son too. come on, just hold him. please?" i said, holding montgomery out to carl again.

the fear in his eyes faded some. "o-okay," carl said shakily, reaching out for montgomery.

"here, just put one hand under his head and put the other under his butt, like this," i said, carefully positioning carl's hands under the baby.

"like this?" he asked, seeming to finally get the hang of it.

"yes, exactly like that," i said, leaning back in my chair a bit.

"hey monty, i'm your mama. i'm so glad you're finally here, i've been waiting to meet you for nine months," carl said, one hand moving to play with monty's tiny hands.

i smiled softly at my son and husband, both of whom i had known their whole lives. suddenly carl let out a jaw-splitting yawn. i carefully took monty from carl and put him in the small crib the hospital provided. "get some rest carl, you'll have more time to fawn over monty when you get some rest."

carl yawned again and laid down in the bed. i knew he was really exhausted because not two minutes later, i heard his soft snoring. "sleep well love," i said, kissing carl on the cheek before going to the bathroom down the hall, and then to the snack machines. carl had been in labor since five this morning, and i hadn't eaten since then, and considering it was three in the afternoon, i was starving.

i made my way back to carl's room 20 minutes later. there was a large commotion outside of the room and a sense of dread clenched in my stomach.

"what's going on?" i asked one of the nurses.

"who are you?" the nurse asked, blocking me from entering the room.

"major francis monogram, that's my husband and son in there," i said, trying to get around her, "what's going on?"

"when was the last time you saw your husband major monogram?" the nurse asked, trying to lead me away from the room.

"when i went to the bathroom and snack machines 20 minutes ago. he was exhausted so i put monty in the crib and went to get something to eat. what's wrong with carl?" i asked, standing my ground.

"he...he's missing," the nurse said, looking away from me.

"missing? how can he be missing? he had a baby less than an hour ago. he can't get out of that bed, let alone disappear!" i said, turning back to the room.

carl's bed was empty. monty was crying in his crib. "carl?" i called softly, picking monty up from the crib. he stopped crying almost instantly. i sat back down in my chair, gently rocking monty back and forth. a sound came from the middle of carl's bed, under the blanket. i carefully moved the blanket with one hand, cradling monty in the other.

there was a small baby on the bed, even smaller than monty. he had red-

own hair and piercing green eyes. a combination i had only seen once. in the baby pictures of carl our mother's had shown us. i laid monty on the bed next to the red-haired baby, and picked him up.

"carl?" i asked the baby. he gurgled, smiling up at me, as if in recognition of his name.

"carl? how?" i asked, stunned. "doofenshmirtz," i hissed, realizing this was doofenshmirtz's trademark. a sudden change, no explanation.

i put both babies in the crib and pulled out my cell phone and called speed dial number three.

"general," the voice on the other end of the phone barked.

"what was doofenshmirtz's plot for today?" i asked bluntly, no proper titles or any other sign of respect i should have had for my superior.

"excuse me major?" general barked.

"i think whatever it was effected my husband. what was doofenshmirtz's damn plan?!" i asked.

the general must have been shocked. i never cursed, ever. "it was a de-age-inator," he said, the sound of rustling papers in the background. "what's happening major?"