1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

in what he would later plead as a moment of supreme, but temporary, stupidity hatter had expected to end up on the chopping block straight away, no questions asked. the queen had yelled "off with his head", and two suits had dragged him out of the room, not even giving him the option of walking out under his power. and he would have, if only to reassure alice (alice, pounding on that bubble, yelling herself red in the face) that he was… he didn't even know. it was just the one thing he could have done to comfort her, before he met his end. pathetic, but true.

huh. the good doctors tweedle must have turned on the room already. that would explain why he was suddenly back at his tea shop.

he waited, drumming his fingertips along the top of the desk as a silence he had never heard in the shop filled his ears. he'd never been good at waiting, not when there was nothing to do but wait, and he suspected that was the point. let him stew in his own juices while they decided whether he'd better better baked or

oiled.

just when he was getting to the point where he wanted to start talking for the tweedles just for the sake of having something to interact with, the door opened and alice stumbled through.

"alice!" he cried, catching her before she could fall. he lowered her to the floor, cradling her head. her face was covered in sweat, and she seemed unable to focus her gaze. he knew immediately what caused it: a bad

ew of tea, too concentrated for safe consumption.

"alice," he moaned. "alright, alice, alice, just hang on, i've got something, i can fix this," he was babbling, he realized, an a

uptly stopped himself. "i'll be right back."

he ran to his desk, opening the biggest drawer, and then removing the false bottom. the antidote wasn't there.

"what?" he said, disbelievingly. "no, i had-"

he looked over to where alice had propped herself up on her elbows, hair plastered to her forehead, trembling slightly.

"it was right here!" he protested, nail scrabbling over the painfully empty compartment. "i had it right here!"

"but you don't anymore!"

the voice came from above him, so he looked up: dr. dee and dr. dum looked down at him, smiling. oh. he'd forgotten. none of this was real. how could he have forgotten that?

"we have it here!" dr. dum added, holding up the flask he was looking for.

"would you like to trade?" dr. dee asked.

"a bit of commerce?"

"i think we'll both find it very profitable."

hatter stood up. "this isn't real."

"oh it isn't real, he says?" dr. dee chortled.

"he has a point," dr. dum pointed out. "the room is not real. it's all in his head."

"but the girl…" dr. dee let his voice trail off with a leer.

heart pounding in his chest, hatter turned to where alice was, looking terrified and terrifyingly ill. no.

"none of this," hatter said, turning away from her back to the ceiling. "is real."

"if it was so, it might be-" dr. dum began.

"-and if it were so, it would be-"

"-but as it isn't, it ain't."

"that's logic." dr. dee finished smugly.

hatter swallowed. "it's not real."

alice gave out a groan. he didn't turn around.

"it's not real."

alice- not alice, it wasn't her- vomited.

"it's not real."

it wasn't alice, it wasn't her, she was- she wasn't safe, but she wasn't- they couldn't…

"it's not real."

there was a tiny sob from behind him, which sounded suspiciously like his name. that, more than anything else, convinced him. alice wouldn't being asking him for help; alice wouldn't even be asking for help, full stop.

"she is not real."

the room dissolved around him, and the pair of doctors stood before him, only as large as life and wearing identical expressions of disappointment.

"it is not as much fun," dr. dum sighed.