1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

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when all hope fails

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"i'm sorry, your majesty," conrad murmured quietly as he walked down the corridor with yuuri at his elbow. the double black was doing his best to keep up with the larger man's strides.

"that's yuuri, right? you're my godfather. you named me," he said, smiling up.

it was evening now and the party had been going on in the ballroom for less than a half hour. the ground floor walkway leading up to the elaborately decorated room was lit up with sconces. the magic fire within flickered a soft, soothing aquamarine color which helped illuminate the garden setting to the left of conrad and yuuri. music spilled into the garden area. a few couples noticed and chatted merrily while making their way for the castle interior where the dancing was about to begin.

"i'm sorry that i had to take you away from mother's spring extravaganza. she holds it each year and all the nobles attend." he gave a polite shrug at the end of the statement.

"it's fine," yuuri chuckled. he placed his hand behind his head and added, "i know that i don't always keep up with my paperwork, but i didn't realize that gwendal needed that last document signed today…as in right now." he laughed sheepishly as they passed a column.

there was something. he stopped, rested his palms on the railing, and leaned forward to get a better look into the garden. "wait…" he said over his shoulder at conrad and his godfather stopped, too.

the double black pointed his finger to a lone figure standing by the rose bushes. it was a blond wearing a blue uniform. he was picking a rose and then just as quickly hissed an "ouch."

yuuri laughed at him. "that's just like wolfram, i guess…"

conrad stroked his chin a little. "he has grown up a lot over the past four years. i was surprised when he decided to grow his hair out."

yuuri nodded and looked at the slim figure who was, at the moment, standing with an annoyed look on his face and a sore finger in his mouth. the wind blew against wolfram and his blond bangs fluttered in the

eeze while the rest was tied up neatly against the nape of his neck with a dark blue ribbon.

"lord wolfram von bielefeld!" a woman's voice called out. she was wearing a cream colored dress with a navy shawl studded in pearls. her hair was cherry red and draped down in the back in an elaborate french

aid with a sea of graceful curls gracing it. she waved her handkerchief at him while her golden eyes glowed appreciatively.

wolfram sighed and his head fell forward. oh, not again he groaned inwardly.

"oh, my," conrad said and chuckled a bit. he took yuuri by the arm and tugged him back to hide them both behind the column.

"what's going on?" yuuri asked, eyes wide and curious.

"this may take a moment," the soldier said, not bothering to banish the amusement in his voice. his eyes cut slightly down at yuuri who, in his opinion, needed to see this. it was a part of wolfram that yuuri didn't notice or maybe "comprehend" would have been a better term. and it was definitely something that wolfram tried to keep hidden from prying eyes.

"thank you for agreeing to see me here. i'm glad you got my message." she smiled prettily at him.

wolfram raised his head and gave her a wary look. "the only reason why i agreed to meet you here…at this moment…in this place…" he glanced around

iefly "…is because your father's negotiations with our monarch is nearing completion…" he swallowed thickly before saying the next line that he knew to be a total lie. "so, my assumption is that he…or you…need something, lady alicia."

the woman walked towards him with ghostly steps and said coyly, "while it is true that having a series of market fairs throughout shin makoku will, in my father's opinion, strengthen internal relations in the kingdom and improve the local economies…" she stopped only five paces away from wolfram. "that's not…exactly…why i've asked you to come." alicia turned her head to one side and looked into emerald eyes that seemed to draw her in.

it felt so good to have him there with her—all to herself, alone in the garden.

wolfram sighed and took a sudden interest in his fingernails—buffing them against his chest. it was too dark to really examine them, but it gave him something to do. and, after all these years, it became a kind of habit in these situations. why were people so persistent?

"is there a problem?" yuuri asked innocently of conrad. "she could have come to me or asked you. wolfram wasn't anywhere near the negotiations. he was too busy."

conrad had to restrain himself to keep from laughing. sometimes, yuuri was really too innocent for his own good. even as a part of the cultured nobility, everything in alicia's body language spoke volumes in terms of what she really wanted. "well, yuuri," he said, picking his words carefully, "i wouldn't be too concerned. wolfram has been going through this kind of situation since his coming of age party all those years ago."

"going through…what?" he scratched his head.

there was a short laugh this time. "you'll see…"

"i hope i'm not being too forward," she said with a slight smile and another step in wolfram's direction. the

eeze caught her red hair and she smiled into it, enjoying the fragrance of the flowers. her golden eyes

ightened.

wolfram glanced at her and his shoulders slumped a little. "since you haven't told me anything, you couldn't possibly be too forward," the blond said diplomatically and offered her his arm. "the ball is under way, and i know that we will be missed if we stay out here too long."

a vixen's smile slowly spread across alicia's features. she folded her arms instead of taking wolfram's. her face peered at his with more determination. "since when are you afraid of what people will say?"

wolfram's arm lowered slowly to his side and, unconsciously, tensed up—the hand becoming a fist. the blond shook his head "no" and turned away from her. he knew where this was going. "i think we should pretend that we never met here…and leave…" it was almost said as a growl.

her face twitched a bit at that but her smile remained. "so, you will not even allow me the chance to tell you my feelings for you?"

"no," wolfram said quietly, turned, and made his way for the castle.

yuuri and conrad ducked back further. now, there was no way for them to leave without wolfram noticing. his vision was too keen and he was very well aware of his surroundings thanks to his military training—quickly scanning the garden and the castle walkway to see if anyone had chanced upon them.

"please, lord wolfram von bielefeld!" alicia pleaded with anger mixed into it. she followed him step for step. a tiny hand caught his shoulder and she forced him to stop and look at her. "i would be a much better match for you than yuuri heika."

"oh!" yuuri gasped and covered his mouth with his hand. now, everything had clicked into place.

green eyes narrowed at her dangerously. "do not say that again. i am the fiancé to the king. and i do not appreciate anyone…"

"willing to offer you love." her blue shawl dropped to her elbows, showing off her petit frame and narrow shoulders.

"stop saying that!" wolfram barked, but alicia stood her ground. her golden eyes twinkled. the blond ex-prince was the fiery soul that everyone spoke of. she liked the challenge, and she liked him being willing to push back when she pushed.

"then, the rumors are true," she practically laughed at him.

"rumors?" yuuri said, turning up to stare at his godfather's shocked expression.

"yuuri heika doesn't love you…or want you… am i right?" she quietly circled wolfram who was now rooted to the spot. the horrible woman had dared to say to him what others had only whispered behind his back. yes, he knew of it, but it didn't help matters.

"then, choose me!"

wolfram frowned deeply, eye

ows pushed together. "you've got to be kidding me, woman. i have no intention of marrying anyone other than yuuri."

she smiled and reached a hand for his face but wolfram turned away. then, she went on with "i'm not asking you to." alicia approached again with the hopes of wearing him down. "i'm simply saying that, in time, you will grow to be so alone and so miserable that you will want someone who is willing to comfort you…someone…who understands your pain…how long you've suffered…" her small hand reached out. she touched his face this time, turned it towards her, and saw something in his emeralds that confirmed her guess. he felt all of that—and more. "and… i could comfort you in every possible way…asking for nothing in return."

it

oke the spell.

wolfram stepped away from her touch and laughed bitterly. "oh, you'll want something… you're kind always do." wolfram placed a hand on his hip. "why do you think that i've been alone since the day i came of age? do you know what that revolting party was like?" he grimaced at the memory. "i had to spend the whole night avoiding my own guests because they were trying to slap me! to force me to marry them because i was the demon queen's son and i have a handsome face."

alicia gripped her shawl tightly and readjusted it. "that's the price we pay for the high status we hold."

wolfram tilted his head to one side when she said that. "didn't you ever want someone to love you for who you are? to be with you because you were the person most precious to them?"

alicia stared levelly. "fine words… but, you're not living that way now, are you?" there was a calculating look that came with it. yes, she'd show the arrogant, mighty lord wolfram von bielefeld something he needed to know. "if the rumors are true, the only reason why you sleep in yuuri heika's bed is because you sneak in there. he doesn't want you. there's no part of him that does. and you spend each day being his pathetic little stray dog…following…hoping you'll get a scrap of affection from him."

"alicia…" was growled from the back of wolfram's throat as a warning.

"you only prove my point by talking like that," she threw back at him. "and i've watched you the whole time i've been here." her tone had switched now, a kind of faux pitying tone that noble women had skill and practice using. "he tolerates you at his side and cringes when you speak. so, tell me… which is worse? to be hated or to be tolerated?" she reached a hand out for wolfram's shoulder. he shrugged it off.

"is this the future you really want?"

"i know my future!" wolfram barked. "and no one can tell it to me better… certainly, not you!"

from his hiding place, yuuri smiled a bit. he had faith in wolfram. his "wolf" wouldn't take this from anyone. certainly, this was what conrad wanted him to see. conrad, on the other hand, had watched what he'd assumed to be a simple "confession of feelings" that would be quickly and politely dismissed deteriorate into undignified behavior and name calling. the thought of where this could lead made his blood run cold.

"what would it be, then?" she asked tartly and conrad smacked his hand over his face. he was right. this would not bode well.

wolfram crossed his arms defensively and glared back at her. "you are right in that yuuri heika doesn't love me. i've known it all along."

yuuri's jaw dropped and he found himself suddenly leaning against the column for support. he said…that…? but…

"i haven't mentioned 'fiancés' or 'marriage' to him in a long time because i know how this will turn out.' wolfram went back to the shrub and took a pink rosebud, twirled it between his fingers, and then picked at the tightly spiraled petals—tearing them and letting the shreds fall. "i will stay by yuuri's side until the day comes he no longer needs me. and, by the looks of the admirers who come to these events, that day is not too far off." another piece fell away from his fingers. "yuuri, the wimp, will find someone…someone kind, quiet, adoring, sweet, understanding…"

"female…?" alicia suggested. "i've heard that part, too."

wolfram shrugged a little. "everything that i'm not…yes…" another piece fell away. "of course, no one needs an ex-fiancé around the castle or a former 'accidental fiancé'—as they call me in the village because yuuri never knew that a slap was a proposal of marriage to begin with."

"my point exactly," alicia said, sounding sincere this time. "even if this place is your home."

wolfram frowned at that. "home…is the place i choose…" for me, 'home' will always be yuuri's side.

alicia clutched her shawl tightly. "i understand…"

"so, as i see it, i have three choices."

"only three?" she chuckled, a bit glad that the two of them had found a way to speak freely.

"three only," wolfram confessed. "the first is suicide."

yuuri gasped and conrad jerked in his

other's direction, about to interrupt everything when he heard the words "but i could never do that."

another piece of rose petal dropped. "even though falling on my sword or setting myself on fire would give me an honorable death and yuuri would be free to marry, i couldn't end it in such a petty way. i would go down in history as 'the beautiful but unloved shadow of shinou' because i'm sure that gunter wouldn't record it any other way. that man's too over the top." then, he smiled almost to himself and added, "besides, i want to see yuuri become a great king. i want that more than anything."

alicia pushed a red strand of hair behind her ear and nodded dumbly. clearly, she had not planned on what was supposed to be a "shallow" wolfram von bielefeld to think this much into detail.

"my second option would be to die by placing myself into danger. if i could be transferred permanently into commanding the border patrols along the human lands, i would have more than ample opportunity."

from his hiding place, yuuri cringed and conrad steadied him by placing a hand on his shoulder.

"but, by doing so, i would be endangering my comrades because i would be a better target for assassination as a member of the noble class, the son of the ex-demon queen, and the ex-fiancé of the reigning demon king. i could also be targeted for kidnapping and my troops would be facing more danger than usual." he sighed and said "not that they would mind, though. my troops and my private guard…they do care about me…sincerely…"

"unlike your own fiancé…" alicia reached out a hand to comfort him but wolfram saw the motion and turned away.

yuuri leaned against the column with his face in his hands. "what have i done to wolfram, conrad?"

conrad whispered back, "my

other internalizes everything. i had no idea he felt like this."

"my final choice would be to return to the bielefeld territory and resume the running of my lands and estate." he smiled weakly—a look that yuuri could see from where he was hiding. "truth be told, this is my only option—exile. i have to live, to be there for greta, my daughter, and watch over her throughout her life." he tore away another piece of the flower. "i'm sure yuuri will let me see her occasionally…maybe send her to bielefeld from time to time…or i'll come here…

iefly…"

alicia's smile returned. "then, all i have to do is wait…"

"what?" wolfram turned slightly, giving a sidelong glare. she just wasn't getting it. and yuuri knew that expression only too well.

"there will be no 'us,' alicia."

her grip on her shawl tightened once more. "just give me a chance. you'll see that i can please you. it's all i'm asking."

wolfram shook his blond head in frustration. "we're not a couple!"

she frowned. "you sound like yuuri heika, if the rumors be true!"

he turned to her, squared his shoulders, and then… his expression changed. at once, all of the emotion drained out of him. wolfram's face softened. he could see it now. he really could. images of wasted years, wasted hopes. moments. sneaking into yuuri's room. waking him up in the morning. straightening out his crooked collar. banter with yuuri about weddings. once, he even asked for a cake.

yuuri never

ought up the ceremony. never. i always did, he whispered to himself.

at the time, wolfram realized, he just never understood because he didn't want to.

"what is it?" she asked, growing concerned.