15. Chapter 15 (1/2)
day 14
despite the hospital being unhappy with her travelling so soon after the events that had unfolded, tanya decided that there was no way she was spending another day in new york when she was due to leave that day anyway. her stubbornness eventually won out and the doctors agreed to her leaving so long as she tried her best to rest as much as possible on the plane and took things slowly. tanya promised but she honestly didn't care what they thought, she felt better after a shower and a short sleep. they prescribed her some painkillers that would knock her out for the flight and then she would wake up feeling refreshed when she arrived back in london.
tanya didn't know what had happened to the team of scientists working on harry's cure, but she imagined they were disbanded or at least suspended after jones's body had been found and after the experiments james had run. it was strange and worrying to think that something with so much potential would have to be shut down after only being in effect for two weeks. tanya truly believed that if they put their mind to it, that team could have shaped the future of research and of medical sciences. part of her wished that she could just take the research and set it all up in london, she was sure a lab at oxford would take her if she signed on to lecture there a little. but there was no way she was good enough or distinguished enough to take on that kind of role. anyway, there was that other part of her which never wanted to see that research ever again, it was too painful, she knew it would remind her of two much.
she couldn't stop thinking about what she'd said to harry, how she'd been so cruel and unlike herself. she had just wanted to help him and he was just protecting her from a madman; but there had been other ways to deal with the situation, she never wanted anyone to die. especially not james; the image of his unseeing eyes, the sneering grin still plastered on his lips even in death, haunted her mind and her sleep. they weren't nightmares, she was just sad; she had wanted so desperately to take things back to the way they were, she wanted to protect james in the way that harry wanted to protect her. he had always been her closest friend and she believed that if he got better then he would become that man again. but now it was too late to even test that theory.
the morning of her fourteenth day in new york, tanya woke a little later than usual before having her usual shower. she decided to give the jog a miss and instead focused on getting all of her things piled into her duffel bag. she chose to wear a pair of black jeans and a shirt with a flower pattern, her hair tied into its customary ponytail.
in the cab to the airport she looked out at the bustling city, the way in which it continued to go about its day despite the horrors that had unfolded in their very own park the night before. she couldn't help but wonder whether all of this would have happened to some other poor soul if she hadn't come to america with james. would he have chosen some other girl to obsess over and events unfolded the same way as they had? would things have been better? would they have been worse? tanya didn't doubt that peter would have dealt with james eventually if he really was as bad as he had been with tanya there, but she couldn't stop thinking about how things would have turned out with harry.
she closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the seat, not wanting to sleep, just wanting to escape from the city for a few moments; she just wanted to leave it all behind and never return. she hated how such a beautiful city had become so tainted to her, how she would never be able to return without reliving the painful experiences that she had had there. she had loved new york and now she was sure that she despised it, she wanted nothing more than to return to her small flat in london and her low level job. she wasn't meant for big adventures and climactic scenes, she was meant for tea and the news before bed. she didn't belong in the middle of the drama; she belonged to watching it on the television when she had nothing better to do.
she wanted to escape from her living nightmare and return to her home, her bed, her life. she couldn't believe that just a few short days ago she'd been considering moving to new york permanently. she scolded herself for moving too fast and thinking so far ahead about a potential life with a man she'd only just met, she fell in love with his spell and the curiosity he excited in her because that was all it was, scientific interest.
the realisation made her eyes snap open and she felt horrified with herself as she came to know in her heart that, whilst she might have had some feelings for harry, they were mainly dominated by an interest to cure him, to use him as a subject and run tests on him simply to fuel her own career. she never realised she was that kind of person; she had felt sympathetic towards harry of course, but that couldn't make right what she'd done. she sighed and clamped her eyes shut again, now trying to block out the horrors that were herself.
as they pulled into the airport tanya readied her money so she could get out as quickly as possible, she tipped the driver generously just so she could leave the stuffy confinement of the back of the cab. she slung her duffel bag over her shoulder and made her way into the airport, she didn't know where the time went, she didn't care. she moved as if through a daze, spurred on simply by the desire to get home as quickly as possible and ignore the looks of surprise and stares she got from other people as they surveyed her injuries. she wondered if her adventure had hit the news yet and anyone recognised her, she hoped not.
she was sat in the departure lounge when she noticed more stares than usual, she squirmed uncomfortably and tried to concentrate on reading the magazine she'd bought and had been attempting to read. it was very difficult to concentrating on reading something she didn't care about when there were children whispering and pointing at her and parents pulling them away gently but staring themselves all the same.
'i didn't realise you were into fashion.' harry said as he sat down besides her and she jumped. she glanced around and realised the added stares hadn't particularly been at her, but more so at harry osborn who had been walking towards her through a crowded terminal.
'harry, how did you get through?' she asked, annoyed and slamming down her magazine onto her lap.
'i have friends in high places.' he said quietly as tanya stuffed the magazine into her purse, secretly thankful that she didn't have to read any more about some supermodel she didn't care about.
'i think you are more likely the friend in the high place.' she muttered and harry smirked. 'and i don't like fashion; i just don't like people more.'
'that makes sense, people are trouble.'
they sat in silence for a moment, not looking at one another, simply staring ahead. tanya was thankful that he didn't try and touch her; she knew james would have done.
'why are you here harry?' she asked him as they announced the gate for her flight. a multitude of people got up and began making their way in the direction of the gate. tanya wanted to be among them but she had to know what harry had to say.