1. Chapter 1 (1/1)

father, the leader of the homunculi, the most powerful being other than truth, is utterly confused by something that envy found...

fullmetal alchemist belongs to hiromu arakawa. harry potter belongs to j.k rowling.

"what?"

father, who was considered to be cold and emotionless by all who knew him, was completely, totally, and utterly confused.

envy, his trusted spy, was holding a pink, squishy, wailing lump of human.

envy was holding a human baby. and he looked happy about it. but not in his usual 'i'm going to

utally murder you and all that you hold dear' kind of way. he was happy in the horrifying, stereotypical, 'sunshine and rainbows' kind of way.

"please, can we adopt him? someone had abandoned him on the front porch of a horrifically boring and normal house. in november! can we please adopt him? i promise i'll take care of him!" envy begged. begged!

father was horrified to learn that, somehow, somewhere, envy had learned puppy-dog eyes. he was more horrified that they worked! why was envy acting so out of character?!

"envy, you do realize that that thing is a human, right? the things that you despise most of all? and even if you did raise it, what would you do with it?" asked father, attempting to be the voice of reason in the situation.

"of course i know that! and do i have to have a reason? he's so cute! besides, he's an orphan! don't you feel sympathetic towards him?"

father was way out of his league. he was losing this battle, and he knew it. all the more horrifying was the fact that the baby was kind of cute, in a strange, squishy kind of way.

"fine! you can adopt him. he is your responsibility however, so don't come complaining to me if something stupid happens to him!" father exclaimed exasperatedly.

over time however, all of the homunculi came to love harry like he was a little

other.

ten years later, wizarding

itain was shocked when their supposedly dead savior came back.

harry xerxes potter, welcome to hogwarts.

a/n: *winces* i deeply apologize for uploading this piece of utter bull cr*p. feel free to use this as plot bunny fodder. i think that it would be awesome to have a story about a morally ambiguous harry going to hogwarts. a morally ambiguous harry who was raised by the homunculi, no less! if you decide to write this story, please review/pm so that i can read it, ok?