17. X-Ray (1/2)

you should all now call me

drabbleabc

shut up i'm hilarious

-x-ray-

kahiro isn't a stranger to being judged.

it came hand in hand with her popularity in the student body-being the centre of attention simply made people judge her whether it be intentional or not.

usually it's nice judgements. she's a happy, cheerful girl enamoured with life itself and she strives to get along with as many people as possible so she's liked and met with smile.

but it's also that label that has been thrust upon her which has led to the negative judgements because sometimes kahiro isn't that happy, cheerful girl enamoured with life itself. sometimes she feels overwhelmed by her circle of friends so tightly stretched they're about to snap. sometimes she feels as though she's failing the expectations of her teachers. sometimes she just looks up at the sky to find it covered with grey clouds and that in itself just makes her feel gloomy.

people then whisper about her cheery self being an act when that smile disappears. people then get irritated when she tries to talk about what's upsetting her-i thought you were more laid-back than this, people had said to her, expecting her to be all smiles and fun. the same people who would then talk about their unhappiness expecting her to listen attentively and cheer them up when she wasn't allowed to expect the same.

so it's easier now for her to not talk about it and instead just put on a smile no matter what her real feelings are. and usually the smile is real, it's just every now and then it's not and her grin hurts her face.

kahiro stares at landscape in front of her. she's doing the triple jump today (she often returns to the athletics club because of the variety of things you can do) and she tightens her ponytail,

eathing in and out slowly. then she begins her run up, sprinting before performing the hop and beginning to move her arms behind her. next the step and, as she cuts through the air, she prepares to jump-

her feet skid to stop upon landing and there's a sort of hopeless feeling in her chest that's spreading, eyes wide as her thoughts swim around her head.

i can't do it, i can't do it, i can't do it, i can't do it-