20. Chapter 20 (1/2)

csilla: well this is the end, thank you for the reviews, favorites, and alerts (and future ones from future readers) :d

now onto all my other mikayuu fics! :d

it's been a month since i was kidnapped to purgatory and i have yet to see any reapers, just like that man said. maybe i really had lost the ability to see any of them. including mika.

the thought of my blond-haired roommate/crush seemed to weight heavy on my mind as i curled my knees up closer to my chest. would i ever be able to see him again? if only people would start dying then-

my head shot up as the thought occurred to me, "what the hell am i thinking?!" i groaned, shaking my head in an attempt to physical rid myself of that thought. mika hated being a reaper so there's no way he would happy constantly reaping just to see me. i wouldn't like it under those circumstances either.

there was a soft knock at the door and i felt my chest leap at the thought it could possibly be mika, but upon opening the door my disappointment wrote itself on my face. shinoa's smiling face was on the other side and with it a teasing remark: "my~ you weren't expecting your beloved mika, were you?"

"shaddup..." i sighed, slightly irritated with how obvious i was making things for her as i headed back to my spot on the couch.

humming a tuneless melody, she followed me inside -making an attempt to actually shut the door closed- before taking a spot in one of the chairs across from me. i waited for her to start talking, but when minutes passed i spoke up: "aren't you going to tell me to get over my little heart

eak that never stood a chance since we were both too stupid to confess to one another?"

instead of mocking me, she asked: "should i?" under her

eath as her gaze met mine. in all the time i've known shinoa, when she's not teasing someone it usually means she's honestly trying to make someone feel better.

regardless i went on, "yeah... you and mitsu were constantly on mine and mika's ass about being in love with each other... and you know what, we confessed and look at what happened... separated! i'll never be able to see him again... all i have left are memories," and by the end, i was trying not to

eak down into sobs but failing miserably at it.

shinoa didn't say anything, instead i watched through watery eyes as she got up off the chair and took a few steps closer before kneeling down in front of me. before i could say anything she wrapped her arms around me until my head rested on her shoulder, whispering: "i'm sorry, yuu..."

any defense i had crumbled away as she apologized; "you guys were right... i loved mika... and he loved me back... so why can't we be together?"

"sometimes," forcing some distance between us so she could look up and meet my eyes, "love isn't always the easiest things and it makes you choose between thing that you've always known and the love you cannot help but feel... i'm sure that its the same in yours and mika's case,"

i wiped away what tears remained on my face before quietly thanking her and as expected her mood flipped: "well~ now that you finally got it all out in the open... you owe us dinner~"

"wait, what?!" and just like that we were back to our usual banter.

feigning a hurt expression, "but yuu~ you locked yourself in here for a month... not wanting to speak to any of us... if it weren't for my feminine charm, this would have lasted until next month"

"what feminine charm?" that earned me a harsh glare that i learned early in our friendship meant 'danger', so giving in i asked: "so what am i getting for dinner?"

smiling, "pizza~ now go and get it," shinoa quickly ran behind me and pushed me out the door -which i had to quickly open before i was smashed against the wooden surface- before shutting promptly behind us.

i stuffed my hands in my pocket, resigning to my fate, and headed outside. i couldn't really argue with her demand since i had locked myself in my apartment for the past month. i had to narrow my eyes; the sun was way too

ight for four in the evening. luckily the pizza shop we always went to was only a five minute walk from our apartment complex, which meant i wouldn't have to deal with being outside for very long.

i kept my head slightly lowered so my bangs hid my eyes from wandering eyes and the violent sunlight as i walked a few blocks, weaving myself through the crowd of people until i was at the edge and just outside the pizza shop. i put our usual order in before taking a seat on a bench inside, crossing my arms across my chest i could help but wonder how mika was doing. was he watching over me? or was he also not allowed to see me? was he suffering just as much as me?

"hyakuya, your order..." i stood up to pick up my order from the counter, offering a short thanks before heading back out.

the crowd on the sidewalk had lessened so the trip back was easier and less congested, but -and i did everything i could convince myself otherwise- i could have sworn i felt someone's eyes on me. a couple times i glanced around, but after almost dropping the food i decided it was likely my imagination, even if i barely believed that white lie.

when i finally arrived at the apartment complex, there was a taxi parked outside and the driver seemed to be talking to the person inside. i walked past it, heading up the stairs, and ignored how my heart sped up as if telling me i should look to see who was in the taxi. i couldn't. i didn't want to imagine mika's old place being taken by someone else.

i was nearly the front door,

iefly wondering how i was going to get rung in when i heard footsteps climbing the stairs after me. great, i'll have to actually talk with this person! before i could explain which one to press, two ivory-toned fingers pressed both mitsuba's and shinoa's buttons before moving to press mine and yoichi's. i turned my gaze was met with the bluest pair of eyes, and i couldn't