26. Decision (1/2)

chapter xxv

in august, the western allies started pushing back the german forces, making julia, olive, niall and many many others believe in god and justice again. at the same time, in poland, the warsaw uprising began, which everyone was reading about in the newspapers while holding their

eaths. and so the summer turned quickly into autumn which

ought hope and faith into julia's life more than ever during the war. the days were coming and going away, hardly noticed by anyone.

walt and lily moved to kingsport as planned in july, and walt was writing to julia adressing himself proudly as the "mathematics professor". cilia was writing to julia more regularly than she ever did, telling her all about the preparations she and marshall were doing for their baby. even owen had the chance to write to julia and tell her that "all is fine, and don't worry about me.".

gilly was still in italy, wheras blythe was moved over to the east of france in late november. "but there is no hope for me getting a leave anytime soon, unfortunately." he wrote to julia "it's making me so angry! we are both on the same land, and still i can't see you!". julia chuckled under the series of exclamation marks he made in his letter, but.. was angry herself that she couldn't see him anytime soon.

merry and jake were in italy too, being once again in the "boring" trenches as jake wrote to julia. also, in september, jake was finally moved up to a position of a captain and everyone couldn't be more proud. leslie was happily nursing in london, and her friendship with jane turned into a real "bosom friendship", like julia's and olive's friendship was.

"and it's december, once again!" julia wrote in her diary "this year went too fast. i know that maybe it is good that it did because of the war, but to be honest i never really liked when the time was passing so fast. i can't believe that i haven't seen my home for three years now. three years! that's such a long time! so many things i could have done for those three years if it hadn't been for the war. and i haven't seen my

other merry and cousin jake for five years! i'm sure that the photos they send me don't show how much changed they really are and i'm certain that they did change. merry is twenty-four now and jake twenty-three. they were such boys in 1939, just nineteen and eighteen year olds!

"i'm sure i changed too, on the outside i mean. i don't think i really changed dramatically on the inside, at least i hope i didn't and if yes, than i hope that i changed only for the better. goodness, i'm twenty-two! that's such a weird thing, i don't feel any different than when i was fourteen, although probably my dad would say that it can't be true, but i feel like it is. of course i don't feel like playing in 'indians' again, but i still feel free and wild.

"blythe has been on my mind for quite a while and it seems that i can't push him away from my thoughts, although i tried so hard, i can't. it seems as if the old yet romantic quote from the "pride and prejudice" will haunt me forever and ever whenever i will think of blythe: "you have bewitched me, body and soul." this is exactly how i feel about him. i'm not in a melancholy though, i'm just very ready for "the move". and maybe i will make it one day.

"i really shouldn't think about things like that when just yesterday the "battle of the bugle" started involving all of the allies forces. right now we are just waiting for the soldiers from this belgian front to arrive here. it is quite strange when you think about it, so many tragic horrible things happen in the world, and one can't think about them and instead think about someone they love but there is no love from them in return.

"well, at least me and olive are in the exactly the same situation, and sometimes, although it really is very "égoste" like the french would say, it makes me feel better, to actually have someone near you who is stuck in the same kind of mud like me and doesn't know how and when to get out of it.

"anyway, i am going to dress up in my unifrom now, because my duty starts in just half an hour! as grandmother blythe would say: "tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it, yet!""

the christmas day in 1944 arrived with snow flowing down from the sky and the cold winter

eeze coming from the woods and fields surrounding the small military camp near rouen. julia and olive sang christams carols for the whole day, and they made many soldiers smile at them for the first time in weeks. then, the both of them and niall had their special little "christmas dinner" and gave each other small gifts. "oh, it's so magical today!" julia exclaimed while drinking her tea at the table in the canteen "i wonder what all of my boys are doing today?".

"i bet merry is joking all the time with this jake of yours." olive suggested with a smile.

julia chuckled "you're most likely right!" she said "gilly is probably talking with his pilot-friends and eating and eating till his stomach can't take any more food, owen is probably listening to all the navy-officers' talk, and blythe probably writes new poems and gazes up at the stars." she sighed saying the last bit in a different voice of hers, picturing in her head the black-haired man looking up at the sky filled up with billions of stars which reflection could be seen in his grey eyes.

"it's good that we have each other tonight, isn't it?" olive asked and looked at niall with a shy smile.

"it is." he answered with a soft grin on his lips "especially during christmas, when people who are dear to each other are supposed to be spending it together." he said, gazing up at julia longingly.

julia met his eyes and looked down on her cup she was holding, she nodded "yes, that's true. do you miss your home, niall?" she asked him suddenly.

"i miss my parents." he replied sadly "but i don't really miss anything else. i always wanted to live in france, you know." his eyes started shining again, and he smiled at the two curious girls looking at him.

"really?" olive said in an interested tone "why?"

"i used to come to many different parts of france when i was a child." he said with a grin of a memory crossing his face "and i always loved its landscapes and the sense of peacefulness. not saying that the landscapes are the best source for the amateur-painter like me." he chuckled quietly.

"i've never been anywhere as a child," olive said and sighed "but i always dreamed of travelling, all around the world." she finished dreamily.

"if you could go anywhere you want, in this very moment, where would you go?" julia asked her curiously.

"hm… i would go to florence and watch the sea all afternoon." olive replied and giggled like a little girl "what about you?" she asked both of her friends.

niall and julia looked at each other and smiled "canada." they both said at the same moment and the three of them laughed cheerfully.

"all of us have to meet up in glen one day." julia said decidedly "i mean all of us: you, niall, claire, amelia and i, so you can all meet my crazy family and they can meet you." she grinned.

"that would be lovely." olive said and grinned back in the way both she and julia always grinned to each other as if it was their hidden message only they, the kindred spirits, could understand.

"nurse jones!" mrs tate suddenly appeared at their table, all red from either emotions or the cold weather.

"yes, matron?" olive stood up immediately.

"would you please check on lieutenant lloyds while i will take care of the new delivery of morphine?" she asked her hurriedly "it will only take twenty minutes. and i will prepare a cocoa for you especially." she winked at her.

olive almost gasped "of course, matron!" she said joyfully and waved to julia and niall, leaving them by themselves. julia and niall laughed while watching olive run after mrs tate in this funny way which made her look as if she was dancing. then julia eventually realised that she and niall were left alone. and they were never alone, not after julia learned that olive loved niall and that niall loved her instead of olive.

julia gulped and her cheeks flushed with red. she looked back at her cup, trying to avoid the intense gaze of niall's blue eyes, searching in her own hazel eyes for some of the feeling which was glistening in his eyes for the past year. "we're alone now." niall whispered as if to himself.