1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

the first thing he feels is something wet in his hands. in his face. and then he realizes that he is sitting on a cold floor with his knees touching the backs of his hands, and they are on his face. oh, he's crying. in his head, several feelings circulated. sadness, embarrassment, deception, pain, failure, defeat. maybe he should quit. maybe he should look for another career. perhaps…

but is there another profession for victor nikiforov other than figure skating?

he could feel his long hair wetting his russian jacket. he had tried to wash his face so he would not succumb in vain. all because he failed to get the expectations of his coach, yakov, to win the gold. he finished with silver, by 0.15 points difference from first place. only 0.15 points ...

he remembers where he is in his second grand prix in the junior category. in tokyo, japan. maybe it was good not to have been in russia, because it would have been worse there.

taking a deep

eath, he raises his face and is frightened to see a chubby asian boy crouched in front of him, with tears coming out of his big chocolate eyes, staining his glasses and cheeks. but he made no sound except for the runny nose.

"are you okay?" victor asks, in english.

the boy shakes his head, grabbing hard at the coat he wears at the height of his belly.

"you, ok?" he asks, staring at the russian, who also shakes his head.

they stare at each other for a while, with tears coming down from their eyes, until the boy stands up, he raises both arms forward, hands open in the direction of victor, who looks at him in surprise.

"want, huggie?" he asks, not moving from the position.

victor smiles so sweetly from that kid who can not speak english right, but who is still there, offering a hug to him. he raises his arms and nods, watching the boy approach and hug him. together, they both cry.

"keep fighting. be strong. win, "the boy says, whispering to him. "do not give up. next pain. remember the huggie."

then victor nikiforov realizes that the boy was crying for him. that boy realized the feelings that victor did not want them to discover because he was afraid of criticism. that cute boy who does not judge him, just hugs him and cries.

that cute boy who tells him not to give up.

"... promise?" boy asks, still hugging him.

"yes," victor answers. "thank you. thank you very much."

the boy walks away from him, standing and giving a cute laugh.

"smile. happy birthday, "he says, pointing at victor.

and victor complies, laughing too. a voice is heard and the boy looks back.

"bye, bye." he says, waving at victor.

"bye!" victor says, nodding.

he sees the boy pulling away, and out of the bathroom.

...

"name, yuuri katsuki. when i skate with you and win a medal, photo. promisse?"

...

victor wakes up in surprise. what a strange dream! he looks around and finds himself in his room in st. petersburg. but something is missing. or rather someone. yuuri?

"oh, you're up." he listens, coming through the half-open door.

in it, he sees yuuri katsuki with his arms crossed, staring at him in a bad mood.

"yuuri?" he asks, swallowing.

he's upset. of course it is, because victor teased him the night before because of the childhood photos that hiroko sent him. from a chubby kid usually accompanied by a pair of ice skates or his little dog, vicchan. the same boy he had dreamed ...

"hey, yuuri, listen to this!" he says, ignoring his groom's moodiness and standing up. "i dreamed that i would meet you in a small bathroom and we hugged and i promised that i would become stronger and i would not give up ..."

victor stops talking when he sees his gaze turn into something different. rage? sadness? pain?

"you dreamed? really? "he asks, biting his lip. "it does not matter anymore. it's better to hurry up because we have to go to training with yakov."

he walks away, leaving victor confused. he looks at the date, and sees that it is christmas, which also means to be his birthday and today he is turning 31. he bathes and dresses, cursing for having to go out in such cold to train with yuuri ... train? but the skating arena is closed in this cold.