36. Chapter 36 (2/2)

Effervescent Potatis02 49940K 2021-07-24

jake rubbed the back of his head and nodded. "i'm not jealous of you."

"is that all you got from what i said?"

he shook his head, "i'm not jealous of you. it's just... i'm running out of time and-"

"running out of time to do what? you've got at least five years before your contract ends," alva tilted her head as she looked at her friend strangely. "i've a feeling there's something you're not telling me. something bad, something evil."

he shook his head but she saw through him. "it's nothing. guess you joining the gang is suddenly placing a whole lot of pressure on me." jake tried to force a smile on his face but it came out shaky and tense.

"uhuh." alva cocked her hip. "me proving all of you wrong is putting pressure on you. can't have the boss' strange sister beat you to it, eh? ain't my fault you didn't, and still don't believe your teacher. i mean you've been on pandora a while now, surely you must have noticed something."

jake let out an awkward laugh, "it's not that. believe me, it's not. i got three months to...do this whole thing and i'm running out of time and with you beating me to it- it just doesn't look good, okay."

"i have no idea what you're talking about. three months? jake your contract spans five years." alva's voice grew cold as she started realising that jake was lying to her again. she knew about his deal with quaritch already, had paid the price for it too. "what're you trying to say? that i should have waited for you? now, i don't get why grace and all of you keep trying to keep me back but i'm not some weak girl with her mind all messed up like you seem to think! i never was and i never will be. i'm strong, i'm seeing! this is me! this has always been me! so stop trying to talk me down on my big day just because you're too much of a coward to realise the truth." she spat at him, thoroughly pissed off at this point, before shoving past him.

trying to cool down before rejoining her party proved to be more difficult than she first thought when jake chased after her, tail moving sloppily behind him and steps loud.

"alva wait! you don't understand." he pleaded with her.

"understand what? that you've been conspiring against us this whole time?!" alva spat out with eyes flashing with anger. "that the only reason we had to move from base was so that you would stop snitching to him?!" she pushed his chest. "that you kept supporting the man trying to destroy all of this even when they welcomed you!" another push. "that you still don't understand shit?!" a slap to his shoulder and a hot tear running down her cheek. "no. i don't get it, jake, i honestly don't. this wasn't how it was supposed to be. i was supposed to get my freedom back, the freedom you people stole from me! this was, is my home and you're trying to destroy it!"

jake staggered back with wide eyes. "h-how did you find out about that?"

"you weren't exactly keeping it a secret." alva sneered, giving into the white, flashing anger that she had long buried. "i've been playing nice, i ignored the betrayal because i thought you'd learn to see. this is my safe place, the only place i've called home ever since i left africa. will you take this from me too?! huh?! here i don't have to be the weird girl who's so fragile she can't do shit on her own. here i'm an ikran makto who has passed all the trials and who is weird in a good way!" tears were running freely down her pale cheeks now. the anger, pain and hurt that she had forced down for so long was forcing its way through the cracks that had formed. "so help me eywa if you take this from me you won't live to see another day."

"you have to understand-"

"i don't have to understand anything that you're saying," she hissed, showing her sharp canines. alva's hands gestured in the air. "i'm done taking orders from all of you. .free. a gilded cage is still a cage and i'm sorry that you would rather be in a cage than know true freedom, jake, i really am. but just like none of you would help me, listen to me, understand me, i will do the same to you. i'm done, jake. you couldn't even give me this day. you people just keep on taking. when is it enough? huh?!"

the male dreamwalker took a step back when she took one forward with his hands held up in the air. when he realised she was waiting for his reply he hesitantly opened his mouth, "i'm sorry, alva."

alva's chest heaved and her shoulders ached with the weight of all the new emotions that were bombarding her. "i don't want your sorry. it won't solve anything."

"but i am! i-i. yes, i've been working with quaritch but i haven't reported to him in weeks. weeks! i've fallen in love with pandora! i have, but the plan is still on and i can't stop it." his head hung in shame. "i really am sorry, alva, and i know it won't make anything better but i've changed. the human me feels more like a distant memory or a dream than the real me."

"and this is your grand apology? a 'i'm sorry, i've changed'?" she couldn't stop now even if she wanted to. alva's mind and feelings forced her to stay grounded, there would be no safe escape from this. "what did the na'vi ever do to you? what did they ever do to you to make you want to do this?"

jake shook his head and started pacing back and forth in the small corridor they had found themselves in. "it's not like that. it was all a job for me and quaritch promised to give my legs back."

the woman hissed loudly and crouched, tail tensing. "you did all of this for your legs? you'd kill an entire tribe of people so you could maybe eventually have your legs back?"

"at first but it all changed! i swear! i fell in love with pandora, with the nature, the animals, the people, eywa!"

"she sings no praises of your love." alva muttered bitterly, body still tense. "so what if you've changed. what's the point? you've already given them too much. you've doomed the omaticaya and your sudden bout of regret will change nothing. besides, this body gave you your legs back, and more."

jake took a begging step forward, eyes pleading with her to listen. "alva, i promise you. i need your help stopping him."

"how much do you love her?" alva suddenly asked, ears laid straight against her skull, teeth still bared in an obvious threat. "neytiri," she clarified when he gave her a confused gaze. "how much do you love her?"

"a lot." he admitted and sighed out in relief when alva straightened up. never again would he piss her off again.

alva looked at him, really looked at him and nodded her head. "fine. i won't tell anybody."

a part of jake felt bad for taking advantage of alva's trusting nature like this, but the only way to stop quaritch's attack would be to get the na'vi to move away and he knew alva would never agree.