1. Missing Scene (2/2)

beer and girls, now that

ought back feelings of the old days, "you and jude have always had chemistry. everyone in the studio knew it was only a matter of time. and if you were worried about messing up your professional relationship with romance, that ship has sort of already sailed."

"yeah, but what everyone doesn't know is that jude made a choice. i asked her to go to thailand the same day that pencil-neck wanted her to start working at his new label. we didn't just happen. it was a conscious decision for her to be with me."

"to loose her virginity with you." kwest finished the sentence left hanging in the air. tommy's sharply glanced up. "sadie tells me things."

tommy took a deep glup of his beer, "exactly, and i thought that she would want it to be special – but instead she became this freaked out kid who just really wasn't ready. she chose me – but maybe she can't deal with the reality of being with me."

slowly a situation where tommy would turn away not just any woman but a woman that he found deeply attractive was becoming more plausible in kwest's mind, "you don't think that she could cope with the fact that you aren't the stable boy next door."

tommy rubbed his eyes, "jude has always been the one who saw the best in me. and when i failed, she challenged me to be better. but last night, i saw this look in her eyes – like she was only seeing what true tom quincy was like."

kwest slapped his hand down on the table, "that is crap man, and your know it. jude is just deceptive. i spend all day working with this incredible devoted professional on music which is complex and insightful. yet then i come home to find her and the boys from sme throwing kraft dinner around the kitchen. what i am trying to say is that it is easy to forget but she is not yet even 19. and she is going to freak out about the things that 19 year olds freak out about…. like their boyfriends' pasts."

"i knew giving her the list was going to be a disaster, that part of my life is over."

"dude, i never thought it was even that much a part of your life. i saw you on the road. i met most of your women and heard about the rest. what i know is that as much as you used those women, they used you. and you can't pretend your life back then didn't happen, because in a lot of ways it is what makes jude so special to you. it isn't a question about whether jude understands what she got herself into. she just doesn't have the life experience to know what sleeping with will mean to you."

tommy nodded, "the things is, is that she is exactly who i want. she looks at me and i just lose myself in her, she's funny, kind and making music with her is absolutely amazing. and i couldn't do it last night…because i wanted it to be with the girl i fell in love with, with not some parody of her."

"i don't think jude really understands that," kwest put his empty beer on the counter, "and if you want save your relationship with her got to give her some context."

for a moment all could be heard was the whirling of the vacuuming in the offices next door. tommy looked down at his hands, "thanks man. i guess i really needed to get this off my chest."

kwest shrugged, "don't worry about it. but i feel like i am walking on thin ice here… if sadie found out that i knew you hurt her sister and didn't deck you…well i don't even want to think about it."

tommy laughed, "yeah, this conversation is going to stay between you and me."

throwing his beer can in the recycling kwest slapped tommy on the back and headed for the elevator, "like that night in amsterdam?"

"exactly. it never happened." tommy started to walk back to the studio, "see you in the morning."

so much had changed in 10 years since kwest and met tommy, and not just the replacement of corn rows with hair gel. yet it was good to know that some stuff stayed the same. as kwest stood in the elevator he thought back to the first time he and tommy had stayed up late talking about the complexities of women and drinking beer. it has been on a bus to some god-forsaken place in arizona and kwest had just been dumped by his high school girlfriend. it was there that kwest really saw tommy, not just as a lothario and musician but as a good person. and kwest had complete faith that jude had chosen tommy because she could see it too.