1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

diana wanted a cigarette. she hadn't really smoked since the early days of the fayz, before starvation set in, but things were different now. she lay her hand on the swell of her belly, fingers

ushing her belly button. it had gone from an "innie" to an "outie" as time went on, but she couldn't remember why. something about the baby.

it was always something about the baby.

she lay in her bed, feeling the sway of the houseboat she was sharing with sam-and astrid, she reminded herself. it was strange to think the fayz's own resident genius had returned from her vacation out in the wild. diana hadn't made the effort to reacquaint herself with her. they'd had their petty squabbles back before everything started going bad—though, diana seemed to have mild beef with everyone back then, she had to admit—but it didn't seem worth it to try to make friends now. from what diana had observed, astrid didn't seem to have changed that much from the girl she'd been before. despite becoming an atheist—or agnostic, diana didn't care to find out which—she was still haughty, still holier-than-thou. still thought she knew better than anyone else.

suddenly, there came a knock on the door. diana looked out the window, noted it was early, around six or seven in the morning, and scooted her body into a sitting position with a grunt. "come in, sam," she called, figuring he was there to

ing her

eakfast. sometimes he did that, in the wary, nervous way it seemed all boys approached her now that she was pregnant. it was endearing, in a way. cute.

"it's not sam," came a voice as the door inched open, and—lo and behold—astrid the genius herself walked in with a

eakfast tray. her hair was still loose and tousled, tips ragged from the amateur cutting she'd done back in the wild. instead of her nightgown, she was wearing a shirt that hung loosely on her frame—sam's, probably.

diana blinked, surprised, before recovering. "i get it," she said after a minute. "sam sent you. wanted us to have girl talk or something."

astrid sat on the bed and handed diana the tray. she took it, casting nary a glance at the fish, cabbage, and dixie cup of water that made up her

eakfast—as they made up all meals.

"no," astrid said after a minute, clasping her hands on her lap. "i came on my own. no one sent me."

"why?" diana sipped her water; then it occurred to her. "oh, you wanted to see—" she put the tray aside and gestured at her own swollen stomach. when astrid looked away in some approximation of embarrassment, she scoffed, "i thought you'd look down on this sort of thing."

"i'm not a christian anymore," astrid pointed out, looking at diana head on. "i'm...trying to get more comfortable looking at things from a different point of view."

diana eyed her new choice of bedwear. "i see that," she remarked, and astrid blushed. right on cue, she thought with a sort of satisfaction...but that soon faded. she sighed.

"okay," she said, pulling up the hem of her shirt to expose her stomach. "go ahead."

astrid looked hesitant. she bit her lip, then put her hand over diana's navel, fingers slowly relaxing onto her skin. her hand was cold, but her touch was gentle. almost reverent. diana wondered if she knew that the baby was caine's.

"whose is it?"

ah, of course—the big question. diana could easily imagine the amount of viable male candidates parading through astrid's mind. most assumed it was caine's, but not her. not high and mighty astrid ellison.

"caine's," diana said. she looked directly into her blue eyes when she said it. she could see the slight twitch of astrid's lip; she thought she was lying.

"oh," she replied. when diana looked down, she could see that one of astrid's fingernails were missing. she wondered vaguely how it happened—not that she was going to ask.

suddenly, diana felt very tired. she started plucking bits of fish off her tray and poking them in her mouth.

astrid watched her. "do you have any cravings?" she asked suddenly.

"some," diana said. "they're not as bad as the kind you get when you're starving, though."

astrid nodded a little. "of course." businesslike. there was a glimmer of something in her eyes. diana furrowed her

ow, wondering what it was. then, it hit her—why she was here.