1. Chapter 1 (1/2)

bonding beellegeerated g summary: takes place during the pilot episode, between the scene where catherine first wakes and the scene where she touches vincent's hand.**************************************************************** clink. clink. clink. "none in all the world to love me, none to count the stars that hung, then the moon came out above me... and i saw that it was young. i wished upon the moon for something i never knew... clink. clink. clink. clink. clink. clink. i wished on the moon for you..."* catherine stirred. there it was again. or had it ever stopped? that tapping. and now, there was music too. an old billie holiday tune, faint and scratchy sounding, like the vinyl records her father used to play before catherine bought him a compact disc player two christmases ago. she sighed, listening. there was someone in the room with her. she wondered if it was the doctor or his son. what did he say his name was? vincent? she could feel his presence and hear him moving about quietly. he was humming softly, pleasantly. "vincent?" she called weakly. in a moment's passing, he was beside her, leaning over her. she knew this despite the fact that she could not see him. she reached out and tried to touch him, but couldn't and wondered fleetingly if he was avoiding her hand. she dropped it with a heavy sigh. "ah, you're awake," he stated. "how do you feel? can i get you anything?" catherine tried to moisten her lips with her tongue. she felt feverish and weak. her face ached and she felt the tug of numerous stitches whenever she moved her jaw. she shivered involuntarily partly due to the chills she had and partly at the thought of what lay beneath her bandages. memories of her assault surfaced and her trembling intensified. "are you cold, catherine?" he didn't wait for an answer and began pulling up the blankets, straightening them and tucking them in around her. "a little," she managed. her eyes stung with unshed tears and she frowned deeply. her whole body was stiff. she tried to shift to a more comfortable position but that only caused her more pain. then she felt the light pressure of his hand on her chest, holding her down. "lie still," he told her softly, but in a voice that insisted she heed. she sighed, her lower lip trembling. she hadn't yet been able to reconcile the fact that she was in a stranger's home instead of a hospital; or the fact she was forced to rely on this stranger for her every need. "my mouth is dry," she began somewhat bitterly. "can you get me something to drink?" she inwardly cursed her bandaged eyes and

oken body. she hated feeling so dependant and helpless, even though vincent had demonstrated repeatedly his will to care for her with undaunted eagerness. his kindness seemed limitless and catherine felt a little ashamed she was not feeling more grateful to him. she was still too wary. too frightened to feel anything but the need to run and hide. "i

ought you some rose hips tea," he told her. "it will help." nothing will help, she thought despondently, but then wondered if he had just told her it was laced with something, some medication or sedative, that would ease her pain. "that'll be fine," she said flatly. he moved away from her to fetch the tea and catherine's heart began pounding fitfully inside her. the anxiety she was feeling suddenly escalated. it was hard for her to surrender her trust in the way her present situation required, but she also felt a desparate longing to be able to trust somebody. currently, vincent was her only option. it would have been easier for her if she understood him. he seemed honest and caring enough.....but he was also mysterious and dark in a way catherine couldn't pin down. his presence was comforting, but also disquieting. "don't be troubled......please," he said in a low, tentative voice. "there's no need for you to be afraid anymore. no one will hurt you here. i promise." the tone of his deep voice grew in conviction with his assurances. catherine relaxed some. she wanted to believe him. he made it sound as if no one would dare harm her as long as he was near. he would protect her and care for her to all ends if need be. she began wondering about her mysterious benefactor. she tried to imagine what sort of face would appropriately match that heavenly voice of his; it had the rare quality of being smooth and raspy at the same time. whenever he spoke, it was always with authority and assertion, but he never seemed to speak much above a whisper. none of the images she had of him seemed quite right. the song that had been playing ended and for a moment, catherine could only hear that metallic tapping. then another song began, just as old and full of static as the last one.clink. clink. clink. "when i fall in love... it will be forever...or i'll never fall...in love..."** clink. clink. clink. clink. "where's that music coming from?" catherine asked just out of curiosity. "a jukebox," came a swift reply. "i thought it would give you something to listen to." then he added hopefully: "do you like it?" "it's nice," she answered apathetically. he sighed and catherine tried to be a little more appreciative. "i like it. i do. i'm just feeling pretty miserable right now." he said nothing, but catherine heard him pull a chair over to the side of the bed. it creaked under his weight as he sat down and she thought that he must be large in stature. tall and strong, but not heavy. he moved about too quietly. suddenly, she felt his hand slip between her shoulders and the pillows, urging her to lean forward. "easy," he

eathed, as his hand supported her slight weight, his long fingers splayed across the span of her back. he placed another pillow behind her then, propping her up in a sloping, sitting position. he withdrew his hand and she settled back into the pillows with a heavy sigh. she could hear him pouring the tea and the familiar rattle of a china cup and saucer. she raised her hands expectantly, letting him know she would not require his assistance to drink tea. he sighed again, and catherine wondered if it was in exasperation or amusement at her subtle declaration for some independance. adhering to her wishes, he placed the cup in her hands with a gentle warning. "be careful. it's hot." "i like it that way," she said lightly and wrapped her fingers securely around the delicate cup and took a small sip. it was sweet and had an immediate soothing effect on her nerves. she could feel the warmth of it spread through her, enveloping her in a welcome peace. vincent remained silent, watching her from his chair. the music from the jukebox filled in the silence, but catherine was disappointed that he didn't talk to her more. he was very quiet, almost to the point of being shy. perhaps he was, she thought. she was just as much a stranger to him as he was to her. she turned her head and offered him a small smile, the best she could manage without pulling at her sutures. "you make good tea," she said hoping to encourage a bit of conversation. "thank you," he said, sounding pleased, his voice nothing more than an expelled

eath. catherine continued sipping her tea and waited, but he didn't continue. "say something," she urged. "anything." "anything?" she wondered if he was being humorous. if he was, it was the first glimpse of humor she had gotten out of him. it was hard to tell though, since she couldn't see his face. "talk to me, i mean. just until i fall asleep again. tell me about yourself," she began, trying a different approach. "tell me where we are." "no," he answered gently. then he added hesitantly, "i can't." catherine sighed. "but why? i don't understand. it frightens me." he took a deep measured

eath. "....i know." catherine's hands started shaking and she thought she better give him the cup of tea before she dropped it. he took it and got up from the chair. "why can't you tell me?" she muttered. she was feeling weak and suddenly very drowsy. maybe there was something in the tea, she thought. "ssssh, don't worry," vincent soothed. "rest now." his voice was more calming than anything that could have been in the tea and catherine settled back into the pillows. she listened to the song playing now and recognized it as one of her father's favorites. "this is a pretty song," she murmured. "you must like oldies." "oldies?" he sounded as if he had never heard of the term before. "yea. old songs. from the 50's and 60's." "oh," he said. "i didn't realize. i suppose everything in that jukebox is old. my personal preference for music however, lies in compositions much older than these.

ahms, beethoven, mozart." catherine smiled slowly. "classical? really? that's what i listen to." she was pleased he was finally talking to her, even if it was just about music, but also disappointed that she did not have the energy to keep the conversation going now. "i like its complexity," he explained, sounding happy himself to have found something he could talk to her about. "it's emotion. it can be powerful. it can be tender." "yes," catherine sighed. "beautiful. so beautiful." vincent took a deep

eath. "like love." "love," she echoed. he must be romantic, she thought before dozing off. "vincent?" "i'm here, catherine." she turned her head in the direction of his voice. he must be across the room from the sound of it. she became vaguely aware that the bandages around her head had been changed. they felt fresher, drier. it must have been done while she slept. "how long have i been sleeping?" he was walking towards her now. "quite awhile. but that's good. your body's healing." "oh," she sighed and shifted slightly. "i feel like i've been strapped to a board for a week." "you are badly

uised," he stated tonelessly. catherine swallowed hard. she had a sour taste in her mouth. all this because of mistaken identity. someone had screwed up, and now she was left to pay the consequences. as if sensing her darkening mood, vincent came and sat on the edge of the bed. "i know you're scared," he began. "you're confused. and angry. it's only...normal...to feel such things, after what happened to you." catherine couldn't remember ever feeling more terrified in all her life as when the door to that van slammed shut. she took a deep

eath. "i suppose i should be grateful. it could have been worse, right? is that what you were going to say?" he sighed heavily. "what you went through, was bad enough. the helplessness you felt, will leave you more scarred than your wounds. but within you is the ability to heal those scars. don't let those feelings of helplessness drown you. push yourself back to the surface. it will be hard at first, but you can do it." catherine turned her face away from him. he was right. she couldn't let her fear keep her from living her life day to day. she also knew she didn't want to ever feel that helpless, should she ever be in that kind of situation again. "what makes you so wise?" she asked him in a barely audible voice. she was surprised that he actually had heard her and responded. "not so wise, as truthful," he told her. "it's much more difficult to put bad experiences and negative feelings behind you. they eclipse everything that's good and positive in your life so effectively, it seems as though they aren't even there anymore. but they are. you only need to look beyond the darkness to see the light."he began quoting or reading a poem to her. she couldn't tell which. "to sorrow, i bade good morrow, and thought to leave her away behind; but cheerly, cheerly, she loves me dearly; she is so constant to me, and so kind: i would deceive her, and so leave her, but ah! she is so constant and so kind." *** catherine listened and smiled to herself, wondering again at the sort of man vincent was. she liked him, she decided, and thought when this incident was finally behind her, if it ever could be truly behind her, she would like to be his friend. he was so different from every other man she had ever known and she needed someone like him in her life. someone stable whom she could rely on and draw strength from. especially now. "vincent," she began, reaching out and touching his arm. "you're very kind." she smiled at him, but he rose slowly, sliding out from under her hand. catherine pulled the blankets up under her chin to give her suddenly empty hand something to do. "where are you going?" "you need to eat something," he was saying, his voice sounding like his back was to her. "do you think you could manage some

oth?" "i am hungry," catherine admitted. the last time she had eaten had been at the party and that was just an hors d'oeuvre. that might have been days ago. hot

oth sounded good and would help warm her up, she thought. maybe it was because of her fever but there was an ever present chill in the air and she couldn't seem to get warm, despite the heavy quilts she had covering her. the air seemed too damp for the room to have central heating. catherine wondered if there was a fireplace somewhere. she could just make out the sound of a crackling fire, just beyond the foot of the bed. then there was the faint smell of smoke and burning oil from a lit oil lamp. she heard vincent approaching and tried to sit up some. he helped her, arranging the pillows behind her to support her back. "better?" he inquired. catherine nodded. she could smell the

oth even before he handed the cup to her. it smelled delicious and she took a long, savoring drink and licked her lips. "how do you like it?" vincent asked. he seated himself in the chair alongside the bed. "it's wonderful," catherine told him. it certainly tasted better than any of the canned

oth she was used to. "did you make it?" "no," he admitted. "i can't take credit for that. but i'll pass your compliments on to the one who did." he didn't elaborate on whom that might be. catherine guessed it must be the doctor since he was apparently the only one around besides vincent. she wondered if it had medicine in it like the tea. almost as if on cue, catherine heard the rattle of a plastic pill bottle as the correct amount of pills were shook out and then the snap of the lid being replaced. "your medication," vincent explained. "hold out your hand." catherine did and felt him drop two pills into her palm. she swallowed them dutifully with a gulp of

oth. "what were those pills for?" "they are an antiboitic," he replied. "to prevent infection." catherine smiled weakly. "you know, that was funny, i was just thinking about medication and wondering if there was any in this

oth like there was in the tea earlier. it was like you read my mind." "there wasn't any medication in the tea," he informed her, ignoring her comment on mind reading. "i promise." catherine frowned. "but i got so sleepy--just after drinking it." "you're injured and you have a fever. it's only natural for your body to crave sleep." "i feel like i've slept for a week already." "you have. more or less," vincent said softly. "but everyday you get better. you just need time, catherine. when your fever

eaks, you'll feel even stronger. for now, you need to rest." "doctor's orders?" she questioned and finished off the last of the