1. Introduction: Toby Gets Rabies (1/2)

introduction: toby gets rabies

ratigan knelt before me, trembling as he touched his palms and forehead to the ground.

i licked my lips in eager anticipation. i'd waited for this day for years!

he looked up at me with terror in his eyes. "spare me! i'll do anything!"

a wicked chuckle nearly escaped my lips. hearing him grovel was the sweetest sound imaginable!

"are you going to eat my food?!"

my eyes fluttered open, and i realized that i was standing in a kitchen. the dog's food bowl, containing a few scraps that mrs. hudson had given him earlier, was inches away from my nose.

toby was staring at me. "you'd better not eat my food! our humans give you plenty!"

"sorry. i guess i was sleepwalking. i was dreaming about that rat again," i explained.

"felicia, he's been dead for over a year," toby reminded me.

"good riddance!" i sighed. "there are times i still wonder what would have happened if your humans hadn't allowed me to move into their home."

"you would've bled to death from the wounds the royal guard dogs administered," he replied. "look, you live here now, and you've changed your ways. now that we've got that settled, i would like to point out that it's a half hour until midnight, so we should go back to sleep."

i nodded and followed him back to the main room, where i curled up on my favorite cushion in front of the fireplace. toby lay down in his usual spot and started tossing and turning. fifteen minutes later, he was still restless.

"what is your problem?!" i demanded.

"insomnia," he replied.

"would you be able to go to sleep if i sang for you?"

the dog frowned. "you sing?"

"yes, i sing!" i thought a moment. "i will sing about pinchin lane, where you used to live before you moved in with mr. holmes."

toby gave me a strange look, but he nodded, and i began my song:

he's the horror throughout hampstead.

of baker street, he's the bane.

yes, your future is grim

should you chance to see him;

he's the plague of pinchin lane!

all his manners are appalling,

and his face could stop a train.

just one look and you'll see

why so many say he

is the plague of pinchin lane.

he somehow thinks he is clever,

though he doesn't have a

ain.

every time he is near,

his adversaries cheer

for the plague of pinchin lane.

london's criminals start laughing

as he looks for them in vain.

he thinks he's a great sleuth,

but we know that in truth

he's the plague of pinchin lane.