2. Amateurs Steal My Scratching Post (2/2)

"look, cat, the boss says we have to kill you!" one man explained as he stooped to reach me. "then we have to kill the holmes dog because he helped put us all in prison! we were lucky to escape!"

the constable overheard him. in less time than it takes to tell about it, the two escaped dimwits…convicts, that is…were back in their cell. i found toby waiting at the police station.

"did they capture boss?" i asked.

he nodded, but i noticed his eyes were as wide as the wheels on hansom cabs.

"are you alright, toby? did they hurt you?"

"i'm fine," he responded. "are you in pain?"

i felt like my ribs were on fire, but i wasn't about to admit that to a dog, so i changed the subject.

"tobias holmes, you idiot!" i smacked him as hard as i could. "didn't basil ever tell you that being kidnapped could be dangerous?! do you have any idea what almost happened to you?! i was safe! i didn't have to follow you to tower

idge!"

"why did you save me?!" he demanded. "if i'm so much trouble, why didn't you let me die?!"

"you are my scratching post!" i retorted. "that man was going to use his dagger against you! you are mine to torture! no one else has the right! no one!"

"oh, is that it?!" he scoffed. "next time, just let them kill me!"

"you're not my boss! if i would rather die with you than live without you, that is my decision! you have no say in the matter!" for once, i made no attempt to hide the tears that blurred my vision. "i once allowed a criminal mastermind to end the life of my only friend. i could have prevented the murder, but i didn't. i couldn't let that happen again. i couldn't bear to outlive another best friend when it was within my power to save his life, even if it cost my own."

the dog smiled sadly. "how can i ever repay you? that dagger should have been between my ribs!"

i grinned. "it is enough for me to know you owe your life to a cat." at that moment, i suddenly realized what he had just said. "is there…?"

he nodded.

"that must have been what one of them threw as i was escaping. you're lucky that boss didn't have a weapon."

"doesn't it hurt?"

"pain is what occurs when you get glass embedded in your paw, and your psychotic master bandages the paw with a mixture of cayenne peppers and curry…without even bothering to remove the glass first. pain is what occurs when a sewer rat uses your nose to put out his cigarettes. pain is what occurs when the king of crime borrows a club from one of his men. pain is what occurs when you leap into the royal guard dogs' kennel. pain is not something that happens when you get a minor nick."

alright, i admit it. i was lying. getting a dagger between the ribs is not an experience i'd recommend, but as soon as toby and i got home, the humans took care of me. in just a few minutes, i went from having a dagger between my ribs to having prawns between my teeth.

"how are you feeling?" toby asked sympathetically as i relaxed on my favorite cushion.

"not bad," i responded. "it's no worse than some of the things ratigan used to do to me when i was a kitten."

"cat…"

"confound it, toby! i am unscathed!"

he laughed at my imitation of basil's voice.

"i'll tell you that story," i offered. "you've been wanting to hear what i think life would have been like if ratigan had never been a criminal, and after today's misadventures, i think we could both use a good story."

he settled next to me. "start with basil going away to study at the university. that's when most of the trouble seems to have started."

"alright."