2. Amateurs Steal My Scratching Post (1/2)

amateurs steal my scratching post

although i usually preferred napping on the windowsill, there were times when i enjoyed a bit of adventure, so i joined toby when he invited me to accompany him to the park the next day. this turned out to be a mistake. if i ever again overhear anyone using the phrase "walk in the park" to mean something is easy, i will personally scratch out their eyes.

the dog and i were just having a leisurely stroll when we were seized by three strangers.

"we got the holmes dog, boss!" one exclaimed. "what should we do with the cat?"

boss shrugged. "leave it here."

unwilling to let toby out of my sight, i followed them. when i noticed that they stopped on tower

idge, i nearly started laughing. amateurs! i thought humans were one of the smartest species alive, but even in a drunken stupor, ratigan's thugs had always known better than to attempt a crime in a crowded public place in

oad daylight. i gave toby a reassuring smile. the queen of crime, heiress to the world's greatest criminal ring, was not afraid of amateurs.

"why are we drowning the dog again?" one man asked.

boss sighed. "we've been over this countless times!" he leaned in closer and whispered, "that dog found the evidence holmes needed to see me arrested!"

i rolled my eyes. this idiot was clearly not the next moriarty. even without toby's assistance, mr. holmes could have jailed this imbecile blindfolded.

"when holmes finds out his dog is dead," continued boss, "he'll hate it. you know how people feel when they lose a dog they love! in addition to the initial grief, he'll be inconvenienced. where will he ever find a dog good enough to replace this one as a sleuth hound? in the event he does, he's going to have spend at least several months training it. murdering his dog is the perfect revenge!"

"how are we going to do it?" asked boss's other employee.

boss held out a rag that had some chemical on it. "give him a little of this; then slit his throat and throw him in the river while he's asleep!"

"why not just throw him in the river without going through all the trouble of the other steps?"

"dogs can swim!"

"but is it really necessary to slit his throat?" the first man asked.

boss sighed. "suppose someone sees him fall and rescues him. what then? we want to make sure he'll still die, even if he doesn't drown!"

"what about the cat?"

"kill it first. it will be good practice, and if someone saves it, who cares? the cat is of no value to us."

how foolish these criminals were! toby's captor set him on the ground in order to help execute me.

i smiled at toby and mouthed, "to the police station!"

he nodded and ran off.

"boss, the dog's getting away!" one of the felons exclaimed.

"you shouldn't have put him down!" boss retorted. "i'll get the dog! you take care of the cat!"

i was about to show two novice criminals what the maharani of murder thought of amateurs. i began scratching the hands that seized me. just as i had planned, i was immediately dropped. i noticed that one of them threw something at me, and there was a sharp pain between my ribs, but i ignored it as i dodged a kick.

"you dropped the cat!" the other felon scolded. "now we've got to go after it!"

rather than causing them to run after me, i allowed them to get close. just when one started to reach for me, i would walk off a few paces. i knew i was frustrating them by always staying barely out of reach. any minute now, they'd be sure to make a mistake. frustrated criminals rarely had the ability to think clearly, especially if they weren't too

ight in the first place. at last, i stepped behind a constable.