1. Chapter 1 (1/1)

summary: it's time they accepted that something was

oken. and this looks a bit superfluous now redrachxo has talked me into making it its own story.

angst, one-shot, spoilers for 4x09, return-of-bertrand. slash. angst. enjoy!

disclaimer: not mine.

vlad had accepted bertrand's return as if it was a miracle.

he'd taken the chance to lavish attention on his former tutor, promoting him officially to the post he'd always really occupied as his advisor, upgrading his coffin room and spending as much time as he could with him. sometimes they read or trained, but it seemed as if vlad sought him out just to share his space, more often than not.

he would talk for hours about how glad he was that everything was alright now, and bertrand would let the words wash over him. after a few weeks, vlad had admitted that he found him attractive, that he wanted more than friendship from him - only if bertrand did too, of course - and it had been almost automatic to tell him he'd loved him the moment he saw him. the chosen one had smiled and pulled him into a kiss bertrand returned with a great deal of energy; maybe this was exactly what he needed, an outlet for any emotion that might happen along and the fulfilment of his most desperate dreams.

vlad had been thrilled by his apparent enthusiasm, of course, and though he'd tried to keep things moving at a reasonably slow pace bertrand had found himself spending few nights in his own coffin of late. he didn't mind; he had no real sentimental attachment to the coffin in question, or indeed the room where it waited for him.

he'd been back for months, and he'd hoped that things would be back to normal by now. that he would be back to normal. much as he'd once resented his all-consuming desire for the chosen one, he'd give anything to be able to feel it again. to feel anything. he had never realised, in all those years of being undead, just how alive he'd been. miserable, yes, alone - but he had lived. he'd suppressed his emotions, but they'd been there.

now all he felt was numb, and he could hardly bear to look at the young vampire who'd meant everything to him for so long. it was as if, since he'd come back... well, everything was wrong. bertrand was wrong. vlad was wrong too. they were wrong.

something was

oken.

"bertrand, come to bed, dear." vlad was laughing, mimicking something he'd seen in some cheesy sitcom the other day. suddenly bertrand couldn't do it any more; it couldn't go on."i'll be in my coffin room." the chosen one sat up, looking puzzled."want company?" he shook his head and left without another word.

vlad came to him the next night, knocked on the door and waited anxiously for admittance. bertrand let him in, then circled round to where his bag was hidden behind a chair near the door."what's going on, bertrand?" he hesitated, and vlad pressed on. "you can tell me. something's obviously bothering you, so what is it?""this isn't right." vlad stared at him blankly. "i can't do it. i'm sorry.""but i thought - you always seemed to-""i loved you." he frowned. "and then you staked me.""i thought-""i've tried to get past it, vlad, but i can't... it's just not working, i have to go.""what? no... no, bertrand, please don't-""i have to. i'm not coming back." he reached down and collected his belongings; he'd spent the night packing what few possessions he would be taking with him. "goodbye, vlad.""bertrand, please, i'm sorry-""so am i."

he turned and walked away; along the corridor that led past vlad's room, down the stairs, across the courtyard... and then he just kept walking, until he was far out of sight of garside grange.

it was his heart that was

oken.