2. Chapter 2 (1/2)
i felt bad about leaving that one, too, so i dug up the sequel i kind of idly wrote by mistake while i was meant to be writing something else soon after posting the last chapter. it's not happy per se, but... enjoy.
disclaimer: the show isn't mine. the characters aren't mine. right now my own wallet isn't even mine. got it? it's not mine.
bertrand wished he could pinpoint the moment he started living again. it wasn't any one thing that made him feel whole; he didn't suddenly see rainbows as he crept from a
eather girl's bed before dawn, or reawaken to the simple pleasure of eating an ice cream after sunset. instead, at some point during his stay by the sea, he just realised that he didn't feel all hollowed-out any more. he felt almost content.
and then, of course, the longing crashed over him and ruined it all. vlad. he had had the chosen one's love, and he'd walked away from it. oh, he'd had his hatred and his anger and his stake first, but vlad had been more than generous in his actions towards bertrand after he'd returned. and bertrand, ungrateful servant that he was, had rejected him. had rejected the chosen one, had rejected his duty. he'd even rejected his own heart. vlad had put a stake in it, he reminded himself crossly.
he couldn't forgive that. but he couldn't stay away.
"renfield," he'd croaked – his voice seemed to be failing him now - when the drudge opened the door to the new residence he'd finally tracked down, "i need to see vlad." renfield had shown him through with his usual grace, and bertrand had found himself standing outside vlad's coffin room. that was odd; it was just after sunset, and whether vlad was currently nocturnal or not, he would usually be awake and downstairs with the rest of his family now. he knocked gently, reluctant to disturb him if he was, indeed, asleep."who is it?" came the irritable reply, and bertrand didn't know how to answer, so he pushed the door open instead and slipped inside so the chosen one could see for himself.
when the younger vampire looked up from his position, hunched in a corner and surrounded by balls of crumpled paper, all irritation slid from his face, only to be replaced by a sort of... well, the sort of emptiness bertrand knew all too well."i don't have time to sleep right now," vlad told him dully, as if that made any kind of sense, "i've got to get this right." he gestured down at his papers; bertrand could only guess that he was trying to draft a letter of some sort. still, this was familiar ground, after a fashion. he could work with this."well, perhaps i can help. what are you trying to do?" hesitantly, he sat himself down against the wall, just far enough away that he wouldn't be tempted to try to read over vlad's shoulder."i've just got to... i need to find the right words to tell you – the real you, not dream-you – how sorry i am, how much... how... i can't..."
bertrand's eyes widened and he reached out to touch vlad's arm, realising at last what he'd meant about sleeping."vlad, you're awake. i'm real, i... i came back.""why would you ever come back?" vlad snorted mirthlessly even as he leant into the touch – subconsciously, bertrand thought. "why would you ever want to see me again after what i- i don't think even i want to see me, thank blood for no reflec-""i couldn't be without you." the words spilled out without his consent, but he didn't regret them, because they were true, and it seemed like they were words vlad needed to hear."i know the feeling," vlad sighed, and then he leapt up as if he'd been burned, sudden realisation written across his face. "you're real!"
bertrand nodded, bewildered, and hastened to rise also as the chosen one began to pace."oh blood, i thought i was just dreaming about you again, all the things i was going to say to you if i ever saw you again, and- and i told you i didn't have time-" bertrand had uncrumpled a nearby piece of paper and was scanning it earnestly. dear bertrand, i'm so sorry, and i know i have no right to need you but i do, please come home-"vlad, i... i'm sorry, i'm sorry i left if this is how you've felt-""you're sorry?" vlad rounded on him incredulously. "i staked you, and then i acted like it was ok and started sleeping with you, and you let me, and i didn't even stop to think-""i love you." that stopped him in his tracks. "i couldn't... i couldn't feel anything for so long, and then one day i could and all i could feel was you, and-""how could you still love me after-""i don't know!" the confession tore itself from him painfully. "i don't know, but i do, and..." he dropped to his knees, suddenly conscious of the fact that he was arguing with the grand high vampire now. "...and i'd like to ask for my old jobs back.""your old- oh- yeah, no." bertrand's head snapped up in shock – he'd thought vlad might grant him this – but he nodded obediently."of course, you must have a new valet by now, it's been years-"
"it's not that." vlad looked as if he didn't know how to explain himself, and eventually gestured helplessly for bertrand to get up.